Those who practise tantra and enjoy tantric massage know how nuanced it is. But to the uninformed it comes down to a single, frightful question: Does tantric massage touch the penis or vagina? The short answer is: sometimes. Let’s unpack what tantra is for a full understanding of why such a simple question has such a complex answer. 

Tantric massage is just one wing of tantric practice. It is a healing art that encompasses sensuality, touch, intention and self awareness as avenues to pleasure and relief. Tantric massage has the potential for the passion and pleasure that all human beings crave. So why are people so nervous about it? 

Could it be that our culture is more puritanical than we care to admit? We think that we are liberated and sexually expressive, yet we assign undue shame and stigma to almost all things sexual and erotic. Even the most harmless sensual acts can be vilified! We know that humans want what we can’t have, thus the taboos around sensuality and eroticism are even more intense. This is also the allure of tantra: it is shrouded in mystery and exoticism, yet many think it’s too provocative to be proper. It is taboo on many levels, or so people think. 

We were made for pleasure

When tantra came about in sixth century India, its practitioners were on a crusade to share the values and tenets they developed. Their beliefs and ideals were loosely knit from Buddhist and Hindu traditions, influenced by their shared pacifism, vegetarianism and sense of equality. Included among the doctrine was the belief in sexual equality between the sexes and sexual liberty for all. Pleasure was accepted and encouraged. Pleasure was understood.  

Tantra today

Fast forward to modern times. Here in the UK, thousands of kilometres from India, tantra is alive and well. It may not be common, or a word on everyone’s lips, but it does persist. Secret Tantra is the destination for authentic and rejuvenating tantric massage in London. There are many back-alley, ramshackle massage ‘parlours’ in London; the kind with sticky floors and hasty handjobs, claiming in vain to be “tantric”. Tantra is a dignified and reverent practice, deeply rooted in spirituality. It is all about balance and clean living, it is holistic and healing. There is nothing shabby or lurid about tantric massage. 

  • Tantric massage is a physical and spiritual experience
  • Tantric massage requires no particular spiritual affiliation
  • Respectfully participating in tantric massage is an act of cultural appreciation

What to expect from a professional tantric massage

The biggest barrier between you and pure tantric pleasure, is your own mind. It’s normal to be a bit anxious or unsure, and knowing what to expect can help alleviate worries and insecurities.

It’s not inherently sexual

No, tantric massage does not require sexual touching or sexual acts. It is, however, connected to sexual self realisation and expression. As a healing tool, tantric massage can help ease the after effects of many sexual discomforts, be they physical or emotional. It can help with erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation and impart sexual confidence. Tantric ‘yoni’ massage has helped women for centuries. Its uses include: postnatal care, pain management, and re-connecting to their sexuality after childbirth, menopause, or sexual trauma. 

As a recreational experience, tantric massage is considered synonymous with a “happy ending massage”, a massage that ends in climax. It’s perfectly acceptable to have a tantric massage that isn’t sexual and doesn’t involve the genitals or climax. Moreover, the goal of a tantric massage is not usually orgasm. It is more about the journey than the destination. 

Intimacy of the body and beyond

Tantra is all about connecting with your own body and your partner’s body, experiencing the synergy of attraction, and experiencing pleasure on a powerful level.  One thing tantra does not require of your body is that it be ‘perfect’ in any way. Tantra does not require fitness or perfect health, rather that you listen to your body and trust how it feels. Your masseuse has seen every kind of body, she’s not there to judge.

Did You Know? Achieving intimacy with a professional masseuse might sound difficult, but with an open mind, and a willingness to truly enjoy yourself and be completely present, it’s very possible. In fact, many clients have unique connections with our masseuses and return to see their favourites over and over. 

Resistance is not entirely futile

Pleasure. We want it, so we get greedy and hyper-focused on the finish line. With tantric massage, you can learn to control that overwhelming urge and let yourself enjoy the tension that grows as your masseuse touches you. The key is in the breathing. Focused breathing immediately makes your senses more alert and pleasure more intense. It relaxes your body, which promotes circulation, (A very necessary part of arousal!) 

This kind of breathing has many benefits but it does require some technique. If you have respiratory issues you may find this sequence of breathing difficult. Do what feels best for your body and don’t stress if it’s imperfect. Remember: this is about relaxation and opening up to receive pleasure.

The Tantric Breath

The Tantric Breath, also known as a ‘belly breath’ is slow and focused. It’s a great way to begin any solo or partnered sex session, and will inevitably be a part of a professional tantric massage. 

To begin, sit comfortably. Relax your shoulders. Exhale out your mouth and close it without clenching your jaw.

Inhale: Draw a breath in smoothly through your nose, silently, steadily, counting to four. Let your chest open and fill with air, but don’t hunch your shoulders up. 

Hold: Keep that breath in your chest and silently count to seven. The first time you may not make it to seven and that’s okay. As you repeat the pattern it will become easier. 

Exhale: Let your breath out through your mouth as you count to eight. Use the whole time and push all the breath out of your chest, steadily.

Other tips and considerations

  • We recommend you eat a light meal or a substantial snack and give your body at least thirty minutes to regulate itself.
  • Ensure that you have responded to any potential ‘calls of nature’ beforehand so you don’t have to interrupt the proceedings – once you get started you won’t want to stop! 
  • Make sure to drink plenty of water in advance so that you are well hydrated and not distracted by thirst or the need to visit the loo. A well hydrated body is more flexible and will relax easier than a body that is in need of more water. Likewise, hydration is key to mental clarity as well. 
  • Practising good hygiene is proven to help get you in the mood. It also provides opportunities for the beginnings of stimulation and arousal. Your Secret Tantric session will begin with a requisite shower.

What are you waiting for?

Our masseuses are there for you, to guide you through the Tantric Massage process and provide you with an energetic and enthusiastic experience. So really, the question isn’t why should you choose a Tantric Massage, it’s why wouldn’t you? Give us a ring and set up your appointment today! Give us a ring at Secret Tantric VIP London! We will get you all set up for the next available spot with the masseuses of your dreams!

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