Many people would be surprised to learn that there are numerous ways erotic massage can improve intimacy between couples. But have you ever considered that a professional erotic massage could also benefit your whole relationship? At Secret Tantric we have helped many, many couples improve their communication and rejuvenate their attraction. If your relationship is feeling a bit humdrum keep reading for the many ways erotic massage can improve intimacy between couples.

Relationships are living breathing things and a healthy relationship is more than the sum of its parts. You may love and respect each other, you may be hopelessly attracted to one another, but none of these things guarantees intimacy. Often regarded as something strictly sexual, intimacy is an oft-overlooked and under considered part of a relationship. Let’s explore what intimacy is, the role that it plays in relationships and how to remedy a lack of intimacy through erotic massage. 

What is intimacy?

When you think of intimacy, you probably think of sex. While that is not wholly inaccurate,  intimacy can exist without sex the same way that sex can exist without intimacy. By thinking of intimacy as something that exists only in a sexual relationship, we miss out on opportunities to enrich other kinds of relationships as well. Intimacy is usually discussed in terms of being a profound closeness.  For many, intimacy is a difficult thing to express and accept,  which can lead to all sorts of disruptions within a relationship. This profound closeness means that many people assign intimacy to their partners only and for the benefit of this article, that is the definition we are working with.

Is intimacy nature or nurture?

A lot of human behaviours and characteristics get assigned as either ‘nature’ or ‘nurture’. Basically, this means that a behaviour is recognized as something that occurs naturally without being prompted, or is a learned behaviour, something that has been nurtured in us. Intimacy is  not strictly a human quality, other creatures experience intimacy. But for people establishing intimacy appears to be a deep emotional drive, indicating that it is at least in part, our nature.  Likewise, the way that we express intimacy, and the way that we pursue intimacy, is often an issue of nurture, a series of behaviours we have learned.  Regardless of the source of your desire for intimacy, needing it, craving it, and being afraid of it, are all normal feelings. 

Intimacy in romantic relationships

When we first connect with someone that we are romantically or sexually attracted to, the desire to increase intimacy or not, generally becomes the definition of the relationship. This is part of the reason that relationships are so exciting and energizing in the beginning. New relationship energy (NRE) is often referred to as the honeymoon phase. Much like how newlyweds use their honeymoon to deepen their connection and focus on one another, the honeymoon phase is where intimacy blooms and hopefully blossoms. It’s easy to think of intimacy in romantic relationships as being strictly sexual or sensual. You may feel that intimacy is about who you can be naked with or how to touch that person,  but true intimacy goes deeper than that. Intimacy can be woven into the entire fabric of our relationships. It may show up in how you communicate, what you share with that person, and how deep your trust is. All of these factors are important to the success and longevity of romantic relationships. But let’s not overlook the importance of physical intimacy.

Before the novelty wears off 

In the early days of a relationship, getting intimate with your partner is fun and exciting. Learning more about them emotionally can be an exciting journey and hopefully you find multiple connection points to solidify your bond. Seeking physical intimacy with your partner in the beginning is often so easy it’s almost compulsive. That new relationship energy is a powerful engine for attraction and physical intimacy but it doesn’t last forever. New relationship energy is just that, it’s new. When the novelty has worn off and the relationship is more established, even if it’s a solid, loving relationship, the intimacy can start to wane.

Sexual Healing

When a relationship becomes routine or comfortable, it’s easy to lose track of the fire and spark you may have once had. Most couples panic when they realize that the intense intimacy they experienced early in their relationship has slowed down.  That panic can lead to blame, blame leads to communication breakdowns, and communication breakdowns lead to conflict, possibly even the end of the relationship. When issues of intimacy come up, most couples take a reactionary approach. Many people will see a lack of intimacy and a lack of sexual excitement and try to remedy that by increasing the amount of sex.  But when intimacy is lacking,  sexual healing may not be the best balm. In fact, without consideration and effort for communication, having more or different sex won’t improve your intimacy.

Erotic massage has joined the chat

There are many ways erotic massage can improve intimacy between couples.  The reason for this is that erotic massage is not simply a sex act. Erotic massage involves the head, heart, and hands. Also known as the mind, body and spirit. An incredible benefit of erotic massage is that it allows us to connect physically and emotionally, while learning more about our partner. These are the foundational concepts that make up intimacy. Listening and responding, touch and communication, all of these things are essential to erotic massage and to relationships themselves. Therefore, erotic massage can absolutely be a valuable tool in improving intimacy between couples.

Communication is everything

One way that erotic massage can improve intimacy between couples is that it forces you to communicate. Imagine giving your partner a massage without ever checking in on how they feel, or without ever hearing their sounds of contentment and pleasure. That would be crazy!  Likewise, an erotic massage forces you to communicate not only verbally, but non-verbally.  

Seek out a Pro

Hopefully the idea of giving your partner an erotic massage is a pleasant one. If you feel overwhelmed or intimidated by trying erotic massage at home,  a professional erotic couples massage can do wonders.  It may sound counter-intuitive to seek out a stranger, a professional, for such an intimate experience. That point of view is understandable, but think of your erotic masseuse as a coach. Yes, you and your partner would be partly or completely undressed and your erotic masseuse would be physically engaged with both of you, but your masseuse’s purpose is singular:  to deliver an erotic massage that is conducive to the two of you communicating and enjoying each other. 

The helping hands of an erotic masseuse

In the same way that a couples counsellor can help you improve your relationship, so can an erotic masseuse. Sometimes if your relationship is lacking intimacy, all that’s needed is a reminder of the intimate spark you once had. This can be achieved in a number of different ways, and every couple of different. Many couples find that doing something new or adventurous that involves intimacy can re-energize their connection. Seeing an erotic masseuse for a couples massage is a huge departure from the norm for most couples. Rest assured that you will both receive attention from your masseuse, and that she will help the two of you focus your attention on each other.  How and where each of you is touched, and whether or not your massages have Happy Endings, is entirely up to you.

Talk is not cheap

Talking about intimacy can be tough. It can be especially difficult when intimacy is an issue or a sore point in the relationship.  Often when intimacy becomes a challenge in relationships, it is because one partner needs more intimacy than the other, or the way that they express intimacy is misaligned. When your session is complete, you will have a whole toolbox of techniques and inspiration to try together at home. Many couples who have visited Secret Tantric for our couples massage have reported back afterwards and shared that their relationship felt like it had new life breathed into it. 

Re-discover each other 

Whether you make the decision together to see a professional for an erotic massage or you you take  the more DIY approach, rediscovering one another through intimacy can be what saves your relationship. We always achieve the most closeness and intimacy in moments of vulnerability. This is why a professional erotic massage is not as counterintuitive as you might think. By both experiencing vulnerability in a safe and controlled way, you create a bond based in care and empathy. That care and empathy goes a long way when your partner initiates sex or wants to otherwise express their love and attraction. By experiencing vulnerability together you give each other the opportunity to see one another anew.  As relationships progress and mature, it can be hard to remember exactly why you fell in love with someone. Connecting in a new and intimate way can restore those memories. When those memories are restored, increasing intimacy feels like less of a challenge. 

Commit to ongoing improvement

Relationships are a lot of work. One cannot simply allow a relationship to exist without any maintenance and expect it to be passionate and functional. If, as a couple, you have identified that intimacy is an issue, it is essential that you commit to making a change. This may come in many forms, including making professional erotic massage a regular part of your love life.  Remember, your erotic massage is about the two of you, not about either one of you with the masseuse. She is there to literally provide the massage, but she’s also there to facilitate the dynamics between the two of you. One such session may not be enough to make a significant difference in your relationship. You may need to commit to ongoing maintenance and working with a professional together over time.

You just might like it

Admit it, the idea of seeing your partner with an erotic masseuse might be difficult for you. Or, you both might find the idea incredibly arousing.  Lots of couples who have sought out our services claim that the thrill and taboo of an erotic massage has help them boost their intimacy and keeps them coming back. At Secret Tantric we are absolutely committed to privacy and discretion, so no one needs ever know that the two of you took a walk on the wild side. Our erotic masseuses are also lovely people. Yes, they’re gorgeous and sexy, but they’re also kind and intelligent with good people skills. Whatever the purpose for your massage, within our roster of highly-skilled masseuses there is one who will fit your needs.

In the aftermath of your massage

So you finally screwed up the courage to talk to your partner about getting a professional erotic massage. To your delight they were amenable to the idea! The two of you spent some time on the Secret Tantric website choosing the features of your massage and the masseuse you’d like to meet with. You’ve gone to the massage, it went well, you left satisfied and feeling good about having taken that step. What happens next?  

Use your words

Our recommendation is that you talk. Set aside some time, uninterrupted, for both of you to debrief on the experience. Talk about what you like, what you didn’t, what you’d like to do again. Expressing vulnerability and talking through a shared vulnerable experience can only bring you closer. As you debrief it will become apparent whether this is an experience you’d like to repeat. If not, your future erotic massages can happen at home. Regardless, you will have that whole new toolbox to use in your relationship.

What are you waiting for?

It’s one thing to read about the sensual massage experience, but it is something else entirely to have your own. There’s no reason to hesitate, simply pick up the phone and give us a ring and we will have you set up for the time of your life within minutes . Whether you seek deep tissue relaxation or a slippery sexy happy ending massage, Secret Tantric has what you need. And we know how to give it to you!  Call us today to set up your appointment. You will not regret it!

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