Regardless of your skill level or experience with massage, tantric massage is an incredible way to build connection and intimacy between you. Building and deepening our sexual and romantic connections is always worth doing. If you want to create a romantic atmosphere and have a transformative experience, this article is all for you. Come learn how to set things up just right to have an incredible time with your lover.
Tantric massage is an ancient art
If you’re unfamiliar with tantric massage, you probably wonder what it is. Tantric massages are based on the ancient Indian practice of tantra. This practice dates back over 5,000 years and uses meditation and mantras. You may have heard of tantric yoga or tantric sex – these things use philosophies rooted in tantra to give a deeper and different experience. Tantric massage is no different.
By blending tantra and massage, you can create a spiritual connection between giver and receiver; through things like breathwork and mantras, this connection builds and builds through the massage. It’s an amazing way to build intimacy between the two of you. If you want something unique with your partner, tantric massage is perfect.
It’s about the entire body
Tantric massage differs slightly from a regular full body massage because it also includes the genitals. It stimulates sexual energy and moves it throughout the rest of the body. There are even specific kinds of tantric massages for genitals – the lingam or yoni massage. The tantric massage begins with a full body massage to help the receiver relax and settle into a state of openness. Then the genital massage begins. Orgasm can happen, although it isn’t the goal. It isn’t a wholly sexual experience, although it can be sexy and sensual. Tantric massage is designed to be a full body healing experience.
Tantric massage can help your relationship
Whether your relationship is at its best or struggling, tantric massage can help with many of your blocks and difficulties. Tantric massage can help release fears and insecurities, help with shyness, and give both of you knowledge of each other’s bodies. It can also help with trouble orgasming, premature ejaculation, or painful penetration. Tantric massage isn’t a cure-all but it’s a wonderful tool. It will give you valuable knowledge to forge and deepen connection between the two of you.
Consider the beautiful benefits
Tantric massage has many benefits for your own body and spirituality but also for you both as a couple.
- Better body awareness, both yours and your partner’s.
- Connecting conscious breathing to the sensations you experience.
- Learning to notice and control states of arousal and adjusting to your partner’s arousal.
- Move energy through your body in ways that feel freeing and energetic.
- Learn about pleasure points all across the body.
- Increase intimacy and trust in each other.
There are many more benefits that you will discover along your path of exploring tantric massage. You’re sure to experience something wonderful and special with your partner. But how do you do tantric couples massage and how do you make it amazing?
Light the sexual spark between you
If you haven’t done anything adventurous in the bedroom in a while, a tantric massage might just be the thing to get you going again. And if it’s been a while since you’ve connected sexually, a tantric massage is a great way to reconnect.
Couples massages offer you something to feel excited about and can reignite the passion and drive to learn each other’s bodies that you once had. Tantric massage forges a deeper connection and can create an incredible experience that will have you wondering why you ever stopped in the first place.
Some essential elements of a tantric massage
In order to approach a tantric massage in the best way possible, there are a few things you may want to keep in mind. If you’re giving the massage, focus on giving pleasure and relaxation without needing to receive it back. And if you’re the receiver, allow yourself to receive pleasure and relaxation without needing to give it back.
Read body language and ask questions as needed when giving the massage. This is how you’ll learn how a person is feeling and what you can do more or less of. Remember, this is about feeling good and connected, not necessarily working out tight muscles.
Be open to the experience. If this is brand new for you, keep an open mind for what can happen. Whether you end up just having a great time or feel spiritually connected to your lover, both are valid experiences and good to have. But be open to the possibilities of what can happen between the two of you during a tantric massage.
Massaging at home
There are advantages to hiring a professional tantric masseuse for you both before coming together to connect. But there are more advantages to doing tantric massage at home with each other. Since you’re aiming to build connection and have a transformative experience, doing tantric massage at home is your best choice. You’ll be able to control every aspect from the temperature of the room to what you drink afterwards to what kind of oil you use. It’ll also help relieve some nerves since you’re both familiar with each other and already have some kind of connection. Doing tantric massage at home is a great choice.
Throw away expectations
Something that can be hard for couples is to let go of the expectations they place on one another. With a tantric massage, it’s important to not have any expectations about what it’s going to be like or what’s going to happen. Maybe you’ll orgasm, maybe not. Maybe you’ll have sex afterwards, maybe not. No matter what happens, you should be enjoying the experience for the sake of the experience. Let yourself revel in the romance and intimate connections building between the two of you rather than worrying about whether or not you can orgasm. Let go of the expectations and let yourself be surprised by what can happen instead.
Getting ready for the massage
You want to eliminate as many distractions as possible first. Turn off your mobile, lock the door, pull the curtains. Set aside plenty of time to explore this massage together without being disturbed.
Have everything you need for the massage already out. Massage oil, maybe lit candles, a soothing playlist. Set the scene for a serene and sensual time.
Do something romantic before you begin. Whether that’s a candlelight dinner at your favorite restaurant or snuggling on the couch, spark that romantic connection so you can keep it going with the massage.
Be present and focus.
Ground yourself in the moment
An incredibly important aspect of tantric philosophy is grounding yourself in the present and being focused on what you are doing right now.
A great way to come together in the moment is to stand or sit facing each other. Look into each other’s eyes and take a deep breath at the same time. Slowly let it out, still holding each other’s gaze. It might feel silly at first, that’s okay, but a few of these breaths will help your mind still and focus on the person in front of you.
It’s okay to feel nervous or anxious. Let those emotions happen without judgement. Keep moving forward with the massage without ignoring the feelings but don’t let them take over either. It’s all part of the experience.
The massage itself
If you’ve never given a massage before, you might be nervous about how to do it. Don’t worry, massages can be very simple. The biggest thing to keep in mind is to move slowly. Take your time, enjoy touching your partner’s body and seeing what makes them feel good. You want to celebrate their sexuality and your attraction to them. Worship their body.
Here are some simple movements you can use to give a massage:
- Lay your hand down flat and use long slow movements to slide your whole hand up and down their back or torso. Don’t use a lot of pressure.
- Use just your fingertips to massage limbs or erogenous zones. Spend a few minutes in places that make them squirm to get that energy flowing.
- Don’t focus on perfection and focus on touch. Keep the physical contact going to keep the connection between the two of you.
Lingam and yoni massages
Since the tantric massage includes the entire body, this means you’ll eventually drift to between your partner’s thighs. Lingam and yoni massages are simple but special and a great way to bring lots of pleasure to the massage. Remember that the goal isn’t necessarily orgasm but it’s okay for the receiver to have one. There’s no wrong answer with a tantric massage.
Lingam massages aren’t quick handjobs. Start with the thighs and pubic bone before moving to the penis and testicles. Gentle and slowly massage these areas. Switch between one or two hands. Vary your grip, movements, and motions. Let the receiver come to the very edge of orgasm then back off. Let them ride that wave of pleasure before beginning again.
Yoni massages are also not meant to be quick. Again, start with the thighs and lower abdomen before beginning to massage the vulva. Gently stimulate the clitoris. Alternate between rubbing, long strokes, tugging on the clitoris or labia. You can internally stimulate the G-spot if desired. Encourage your partner to come to the edge of orgasm before backing off to let them ride the pleasure that does happen and beginning again.
Tanta is well-known for it’s various breathing techniques and tantric massage is no exception. From beginning to the massage with breathing to ground together and focus, to steady breathing to avoid orgasming, there are different techniques you can use to keep things moving well. Take long deep breaths to steady the energy flowing between the two of you. Breathe in sync to build connection and harmony. Eye contact while breathing in sync can deepen it. Don’t hold your breath when stimulating genitals or erogenous zones – this encourages the sexual energy to build. Let out slow breaths instead, keeping the energy flowing through your body. It’ll keep things feeling amazing for longer.
Make sure you’re communicating
Communication is such a massive part of any relationship. Tantric massage is a great time to work on and improve your communication skills. If you’re the giver, ask if things are feeling good. Pay attention to the noises they make and what their body is doing under your hands. If you’re the receiver, try to be as clear as possible when answering questions. Point out things that feel great. You don’t have to chit chat the entire time but a little communication goes a long way in making sure everything is wonderful for everyone.
Enjoy yourself and your partner
Through all of this should be nothing but pleasure, connection, and romance. Enjoy what is happening right here and now. Focus on the feel of their hands on your body or vice versa. Think about what you love about this person, what you find attractive about them. Have fun, relax, and enjoy the atmosphere you’ve cultivated together. Take the pleasure your partner is giving you freely and return it just as freely. Eliminate all expectations and just enjoy the experience for what it is. You’ll have a much better time and truly deepen your connection to one another.
Ending the massage
You can end the tantric massage when a person orgasms or when you’re both just ready to stop. Let the sexual energy slow down and fade a bit before calling it quits. Slow breathing and gentle touching can help. Be thankful with each other for what you have created together. If it feels right, you can flow into having sex but there’s nothing wrong with simply cuddling instead. Don’t end things abruptly and leave the room. Be slow, methodical, and deliberate with the ending. You both should come back together feeling relaxed, calm, and connected.
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