The human urge for pleasure has to be one of the most natural and primordial instincts. It’s an example of smart design that our deepest pleasure can be so directly linked to proliferating our species. Whether you believe it’s the Big Man Upstairs calling the shots or Mother Nature herself, it just makes sense that making more humans requires us to do that thing we like so much. But, as we know, pleasure goes far beyond necessity and procreation and comes in all sorts of combinations of bodies. It makes sense then, that human beings have been finding ways to expand and extend their pleasure since time immemorial. Tantric practice and tantric massage is a perfect example. But in order to get to the bottom of the simple question: What is tantric massage?, we must first look at what tantra is and what it has been.
In 6th century India, a movement arose that was anchored in the beliefs and teachings of Hinduism and Buddhism. It was a spiritual movement that embraced values that promoted health, wellness and balance. It began as a set of doctrines known as the tantras, and later became known simply as tantra. The term ‘tantra’ is a Sanskrit word that translates to English as “woven web”, a nod towards its very premise: that all things are connected, including the mind, body, and spirit.
Tantric practitioners believed that life was sacred and they complied with many rules and restrictions to live their best lives. The tenets of tantra include clean living, abstaining from alcohol and drugs, eating a vegetarian diet, and political pacifism. They also embraced sexual equality between genders and considered sex, and all intimate acts, an opportunity to touch the Divine. This is also how tantric massage began.
Ancient, exotic, and modern
Tantric massage is a sensual full body massage style that focuses on deep relaxation and creating a solid mind/body connection through guided rhythmic breathing.
Tantra carries an exotic mysticism that may not seem very relatable in this day and age. The principles of tantric practice are still possible and valuable in the modern world, but for many, seem too restrictive. These days, some people still practice the complete tantric lifestyle, but more commonly, people access tantra’s benefits through yoga or massage.
Many people see tantric massage as something so sensual that it must be deviant. Ironically, it is one of the most balanced and healing practices for mind and body that you will find anywhere in the world. Tantra is ancient and obviously informed by another place and time, but that doesn’t mean that it can’t be helpful to you in the 21st century!
Release your preconceptions
Thanks to film and media, tantric massage has been on the periphery of mainstream western culture for decades. Often seen as something for hippies and new age spiritual types, tantric massage is a very accessible and welcoming practice, it just requires a bit of understanding and information-gathering. Lots of people find it too exotic, or too sensual. Sadly, we don’t prize sensuality or believe it’s necessarily important to achieve it. Sex is almost more acceptable though it too is heavily moralised. Film portrays tantric massage through the trope of the good old Kama Sutra, but it is so much more than wild sex positions! Tantric massage is a path to intimacy unlike anything else. When you open yourself to tantric massage, you can embrace self knowledge and positive change, all while experiencing incredible pleasure, and even release.
Get in touch with your masculine self again
Self knowledge and self development is at the heart of all tantric practice, including tantric massage. Through focussed and intentional breathing, it is possible to ‘unblock’ ourselves, release negative thoughts, feeling, and memories, and change or realign the flow of our personal energy. That may sound a bit “woo woo” but a bit of breathing and meditation is a small price to pay for relaxation, clarity, self exploration and pleasure, to name only a few perks. The world we live in is intense and fast moving, much more so than we are designed to handle. Learning to slow down through tantric massage, be it professional or with a partner, is good for every part of you. Embrace your sacred “lingam” (Sanskrit for penis) and slow down and rediscover the pleasure of enjoying your own masculine energy.
Show yourself some love
One way to ease into tantric massage if you are going solo, is to use tantric edging as a way of controlling and improving your orgasms. People have been using edging techniques as part of their sexual repertoire forever! Edging requires a person to almost achieve orgasm without completely losing control. Think of it like running towards the edge of a cliff and stopping just in time; breathless, looking over the edge into the chasm you almost fell into. Then, slowly walking back to where you began and running towards the edge again. While this may sound like an exercise in frustration, edging is also a tried-and-true tantric practice that is an essential part of experiencing tantric orgasms.
Tap into partnered intimacy, not just sexual fulfilment
Sex can be intimate, but it is not definition of intimacy. Intimacy is a bigger concept, one that requires safety, comfort, courage, and communication. Intimate relationships are the primary goal of adulthood but these intimate connections do not happen without significant work and maintenance. Tantric massage can help with a couples intimacy because it is all about energy. When you’re with someone that you are intimately involved with, sometimes the circuit of energy between you can lapse or wane. New relationship energy is the excitement and addiction that you feel with a new sex or love interest. This level of desire is not sustainable in the long-term, and is meant to fade over time. Many couples panic when this natural fade begins, mistaking it for a rut or even the beginning of the end. Reconnecting through tantric massage can help you both alleviate the strain between you and start reconnecting.
Connect with your partner through tantric massage
These are slow, focused, three-step breaths. To begin, sit comfortably, relax your shoulders, let your hands be relaxed in your lap. Exhale out your mouth and close it without clenching your jaw.
- Inhale: Draw a breath in smoothly through your nose, silently, steadily, counting to four. Let your chest open and fill with air, but don’t hunch your shoulders up.
- Hold: Keep that breath in your chest and silently count to seven. The first time you may not make it to seven and that’s okay. As you repeat the pattern it will become easier.
- Exhale: Let your breath out through your mouth as you count to eight. Use the whole time and push all the breath out of your chest, steadily.
Repeat this process four times. Breathing is a significant element of Tantra and Tantric massage. Thoughtful breathing has so many benefits but it does require some technique.
Try Eye Gazing and Full Body Touch
Eye gazing is a Tantric technique that promotes intimacy by simply looking at each other.
- Sit facing your partner. Cross-legged on the bed is great but sit however you are comfortable.
- Hold each other’s left hands and use your right hands to place your palms against each other’s hearts.
- Look into each other’s eyes and breathe your Belly Breaths together slowly and steady in this position.
Heal With Communication
Tantric massage improves intimacy between couples because it helps you disarm your negative energy and simply communicate. A tantric massage forces you to communicate not only verbally, but non-verbally. The vulnerability and focus of tantric massage conveys to your partner that you are committed to this act of intimacy. It is a beautiful way to show up for your relationship. If you feel overwhelmed or intimidated by trying erotic massage at home, a professional erotic couples massage can do wonders. It may sound counter-intuitive to seek out a stranger, but think of your erotic masseuse as a coach who can guide you through the motions and give you skills to use at home, together.
Experience bigger, better pleasure … if you want to
Tantric massage prepares the body and mind for pleasure and embraces the beauty and humanity in eroticism. Yes, it’s still a massage, your body, and muscles, will feel buttery soft and relaxed, but if you want there to be a sexual and sensual element, that’s great. Tantric practice can be entirely non sexual and professional tantric massages do not include sex of any kind. They are often ‘happy ending’ massages, meaning that the masseuse helps the recipient experience climax as the finale to an otherwise focused, slow paced and intentional massage session. When you are alone with a partner at home and indulging in the intimacy and intensity of tantric touch, an orgasm may seem like a comfortable and logical conclusion. When you see a pro, if you are not comfortable ‘finishing’ that’s totally acceptable. It’s your massage, and it is all about what you make of it.
Tantric orgasms just hit different
Tantric orgasms are very special things. They require that your mind and body both be in a relaxed and open state. When you visit a professional tantric masseuse, they will guide you through the process, ensuring that you are in prime condition for the final act. The tantric massage orgasm is so unique because it is so often multiple. Many men don;t think it’s possible due to that nasty 20 minute refractory period, post ejaculation. But it is very real and very attainable! The key to multiple tantric orgasms is in the combination of acceleration and stopping at just the right moment. The essential thing to understand is that ejaculation does not cause orgasm. The orgasm is simply an incentive to ejaculate (from a biological/reproductive point of view). By pairing ejaculation with the intense pleasure of orgasm the species proliferates. But you can separate and unpair those events.
Men can do multiples!
- Use your Belly Breaths! Take 5-10 minutes of slow stroking as you get your breathing regulated.
- Edge yourself using your breath to help push you towards the precipice of orgasm.
- Back off without coming, but still constantly stimulating yourself.
- Get yourself quite close without speeding up
- Resist the urge to go hard and fast, keep it steady!
- As you approach the tipping point, you are going to allow yourself to orgasm, but not ejaculate. Do this by letting go of your penis, or by stopping the stroke with your hand at the base, and clenching your pelvic muscles as hard as you can as the sensation of orgasm washes over you.
- Keep stroking, and do it again! Enjoy!
Don’t be shy about seeking support
Culturally, we are forever put in boxes based on sex and sexuality. As such, tantric massage is almost an act of resistance. Luckily it’s totally above board in the UK and we are here to help! Exploring tantric massage, either self massage/masturbation, or seeing a professional at Secret Tantric, is never a bad idea. There is so much to be gained from the inward journey that tantric massage takes us on. There’s no shame in seeking touch and support as you learn and grow. A Secret Tantric masseuse can help you discover a whole new world of pleasure and self-investment.
What are you waiting for?
There are no tangible downsides to tantric Massage. This is especially true when you are dealing with an agency like Secret Tantric. We promise you that every element of your massage is professional and above board. There’s really no reason not to try a tantric massage! Pick up the phone and give us a call. We would be delighted to walk you through every detail and support you in this incredible journey you have begun.
Whether you are looking for an exotic massage for you and a partner for yourself, we have what you want. Our girls are the most beautiful in London, if not the world! We are confident that every session you book with us will be better than the last. No matter your reasons for booking with us, we will always leave you satisfied, to whatever degree you desire.
- The Historical Evolution of Tantric Massage
- What is a Body on Body Massage?
- What is Lingam Massage?
- FAQs about Tantric Massage
- What is a Tantric Therapist?