When you think of tantric sex do you think of something complicated that requires incredible flexibility? Does it seem like something reserved for the young and fit? Tantric practice and tantric sex is for everyone. Some of our most beloved sex positions are rooted in Kamasutra and tantric practice. The art of lovemaking is something that has been studied and shared throughout time in many parts of the world. This article takes you through common tantric sex positions to try ASAP. Each position comes with tips to intensify the intimacy and pleasure with small tantric modifications.
Tantric Sex Positions to Try This Weekend
Deep Self Love
Masturbation is an often overlooked part of tantric practice. Many people don’t think of self-love as part of the tantric way of life and lovemaking. This is a missed opportunity! It’s important that we take time with ourselves and our own bodies to discover what pleasure means for us. By re-discovering our bodies alone we can better articulate our desires to our partners. Techniques that are tantric-inspired are often about the interaction between two lovers. Tantric masturbation is about self-discovery and understanding your own pleasure centres and your own orgasm process.
If you are interested in increasing and expanding your sex life with your partner through tantric positions and tantric techniques, it can be a good idea for both of you to practice tantric self care as well.
Time alone to discover your breathing and how your body responds to your own touch is essential. Learn to touch without the use of pornography or other stimulation, so can learn what makes you tick. It’s easier to meditate and breathe with a partner when you’re already comfortable doing it by yourself.
You deserve more
By incorporating tantric technique with masturbation we allow ourselves more time, more space, and better connection with ourselves. This is an extremely valuable exercise in a world that demands so much of us from families, jobs, and ourselves. Making sensual time for yourself is important. Your body, mind, and well-being deserve better than 3 minutes, a bit of lotion, and a porno movie.
This is a slow, deep, sensual masturbation experience that can lead to orgasm but will do so without the chronic over-stimulation that a less mindful form of masturbation can cause.
Apply tantric techniques to self-love
- The simplest and easiest is to just slow down. By taking your time and not relying on porn or erotica or any other outside stimulation, you will get a very different result. Slowing down and applying tantric breathing techniques is a way to ensure that your orgasm if that is your goal, is more long-lasting and more intense. This in turn can lead to greater overall relaxation, a clearer head, a better sleep, etc.
- Get naked or close to it. Lay on your back and relax your body. Lay your body out in a star formation: arms wide and feet just more than shoulder-width apart.
- Breathe deeply in through your nose, hold the breath once your chest is full for a count of eight, and then slowly release the air completely through your mouth. Repeat this breathing cycle several times before you begin to touch yourself.
Take it slow
- Once you begin, make a point of touching parts of your body that you don’t necessarily consider sexual or even very sensual. Take your time and let your hands move over your skin slowly.
- Try to focus on only what your hand feels, and then only what your body feels where your hand touches it. Separating these sensations takes focus and will help you narrow in on the pleasure your body is experiencing.
- Spend time on sensitive and undervalued parts of your body like your thighs, shoulders, neck or the insides of your wrists.
- Resist touching the parts of your body that are your known erogenous zones. If you begin there, you don’t have far to go. But if you begin by stimulating your body in a less sexual way you will lengthen and deepen the journey to satisfaction and release.
The journey vs destination
Often masturbation is a hurried event that is sometimes fuelled by shame or sheer necessity. Tantric masturbation is much more about the journey than the destination. This is a slow, deep, sensual masturbation experience that can lead to orgasm but will do so without the chronic over-stimulation that a less mindful form of masturbation can cause. Masturbation is so personal it’s impossible to tell you how to do what works for yo. By applying tantric practice and technique to how you already like to touch you can improve your solo sex as well as your partnered sex.
Yab Yum is likely the position that you imagine when someone says the words ‘tantric sex’. It’s the classic lotus-upon-lotus sitting position that lends itself well to very intimate penetrative sex. Traditionally this position is depicted between a man and a woman. However, Yab Yum can be very satisfying and sensual regardless of the gender or genitals involved. It’s easy to understand why this position is considered so intimate and is such a central position in tantric love-making. Yab Yum puts the lovers eyes in line with one another, so prolonged eye contact and kissing is very much possible. In terms of intercourse, it makes for a very close fit and a lot of body to body contact. The intensity of contact can be heightened through massage oils and mutual touch during sex. It is also easy to regulate your breathing and breathe together when you’re facing each other.
Synchronizing your breath is an essential part of getting to the depth and intimacy that Tantra unlocks.
Let the lotus bloom
- If you are a couple that has one person with a phallus and another person without, the person with the phallus sits down first.
- Then the second person sits in their lap, essentially impaling themselves on that phallus. If you find that your bodies are not fully compatible in this position because of injury, in-flexibility or any other reason you can make some simple modifications.
Remember this isn’t about getting the form exactly perfect it’s about focusing your intention and doing your best to open your mind and body for a deeper state of sexual experience.
- The bottom person can help support the top person by pushing cushions or pillows under their thighs and backside. Likewise, cushions are helpful under the thighs of the bottom person. This will give them some support so their hips don’t take as much weight.
- The person on top can also lean back onto their hands and support some of their body weight that way.
- By wrapping your legs around each other in that open cross-legged lotus position you bind your hips together. This means that the thrusts that you desire are not going to be as active and as rambunctious as other positions.
- This position allows for gentle rocking and if you’re really adventurist slight bouncing by the top person. However, this position does make the phallus vulnerable. The person on top should be aware of not coming down too hard or inaccurately on their lover’s phallus.
You may think of spooning as a dull position, one that is reserved for lazy Sunday morning lovemaking. You may not think of it as a position that can spark a deep erotic fire in you or your lover. However, spooning is a perfect storm of sexual and sensual energy points! By aligning your bodies lengthwise, lying on your signs, interlocking like spoons, you are aligning your body’s energy pathways and chakras.
When you align your mind to your body, and then your body to another person’s body who has also aligned it with their mind, you create a very powerful circuit of sexual energy. This is the gift of Tantra.
Re-align your body and your mind
So much of the modern Western philosophy around sex and sexuality is based on the idea of sex being a singular, acute, and distinctly penetrative experience. If we look at sex only through that lens we are reducing it into something that is no longer in tune with a full-body experience. Our bodies were made for sex, both for procreation and proliferation of the species, but also because it feels good.
As human beings we need to feed our bodies, our souls and our minds. Sex and sexuality helps us do this. Tantric practice helps us bridge the gap between our modern minds and bodies and our more natural, innate, and spiritual minds and bodies.
When you apply these principles to more than one person and you begin to work together on manifesting that kind of energy you begin to see how implicitly powerful sex can be. Sex and desire are not simply about what is exciting or what is dirty or what is titillating. Sex can be about what is fundamental and human.
It all comes down to connection
A note about Foreplay – Foreplay is a bit of a misnomer in the sense that it supports the idea that sex is one singular discrete action that is always penetrative. That is an outmoded way of approaching sex. We now know better and that foreplay just is sex. Many people, particularly women frequently report that they are more interested and more satisfied through sex acts that are typically considered foreplay. This includes touching, groping, heavy petting, fingering, direct clitoral stimulation, suckling etc. Penetration does not have to be the definition of sex!
- Get into the spoon position, start slow at first and resist the urge to move directly into penetrative sex.
- Instead of jumping right into the deep penetration that is possible in the spooning position use the opportunity for exploration of each other’s bodies. The person who is a little spoon or the person in front can titillate their partner behind them by grinding and rubbing their body on them. The person in the back can use their hands to stimulate the person in front and touch their body.
- Spooning is an excellent position for synchronizing your breathing, much like the Yab-Yum position. Because your bodies are so closely touching at several different points it’s easy to pick up on how your partner’s body is moving, how their heart is beating what their breathing is like.
The Queen Bee position is another penetrative-focused position that allows for tantric modifications, pleasure, and stimulation. The QB is a moderately challenging position depending on the strength and stamina of the person on top. much like Yab-Yum the partner with the phallus will be on the bottom and the person without or the person being penetrated will be on top. You can imagine this position much like girl-on-top or cowgirl, except squatting. Essentially the top person stands over the bottom person and squats over their stomach and lowers himself down onto the bottom person’s phallus. The top person remains in this squatting position and can control the depth and speed of penetration.
This a slightly more athletic position and depending on the combination of your bodies it may or not may or may not be very comfortable. It can be easier and more comfortable if the top person is slightly elevated. A sexy way to achieve that is high heels, or simply cushions underfoot.
Face to face connection
Traditionally this is considered a girl-on-top position. The name Queen implies that she hovers over her mate as they connect. Feel free to adapt this position based on the equipment that you’re working with as well as physical comfort. Just like other eye to eye physicians this position can be incredibly intimate and allow for intense connection. It also allows for speaking to one another. Talking dirty is not a traditional part of Tantra. However, whatever floats your boat is what you should do, provided you both want to do it.
Breathing is everything
Because breathing is so essential and prominent in tantric practice, talking is not an obvious part. However, many people find it very stimulating. You may find that by focusing on your breathing, your eye contact and making a palpable connection with your partner, the desire for additional stimuli like dirty talk or pornography begins to fade away. That is not to say that dirty talk or pornography have no place in sex. However, it is not the tool that we think that it is. Outside stimuli like toys, pornography, dirty talk, can all be challenging distractions. Such distractions can make it harder to steady your breathing. Try to connect with your partner and really sink into a deeper and more meaningful sexual experience.
Seeking a new level of connection and pleasure with your partner is something you can proactively do as part of the maintenance and development of your relationship. You needn’t save this sort of sex for special occasions. This can become the kind of sex that you have all the time! All that tantric practice asks of us is focus and intention.
When we make love without focus and attention we rob ourselves of the opportunity to have a meaningful and powerful connection with another human being. Not every instance of sex or intimacy needs to be this deep. Sometimes you just need a quick romp and to go to bed! However, if you are looking to increase the depth and quality of your sexual relationships, adding tantric practice can be beneficial.