There’s nothing new about giving a massage to your lover or partner. Chances are they enjoy it, it feels good for both of you, and it’s probably a reliable form of foreplay. But what if you could take your sensual massage to the next level at home?  You may not think you have the skills required, but trust us, you do!  With a little bit of thoughtful planning,  you can give your partner a mind-blowing sensual massage at home. Read more to find out how!

What is sensual massage?

In the world of professional erotic massage, sensual massage is one of the most common forms. This is to be expected because sensual massage bridges the gap between a standard muscular massage and an erotic massage. When it comes to sensual massage at home, you can call it whatever you want, and you can define it however you like.  For the purpose of this article ‘sensual massage’ is defined as a naked massage with the potential to become sexual.

The atmosphere matters – make it sexy!

Sensual massage is best practised, and best enjoyed, with some preparation of the mind and body. Creating an appropriately comfortable atmosphere is a part of the mind/body connection that sensual massage helps you achieve. Taking a few minutes to create the ideal mood will help your mind and body become ready for pleasure. Consider it an investment in your intimacy.

Prepare using all 5 of your senses

Sight – tidy up, even just a bit. A clutter-free space will help you focus and relax, two essential concepts for sensual pleasure

Touch – bust out the massage oils and/or lubricant. Reducing friction and encouraging your hands to linger on your body (or your partners) will heighten and extend the experience.

Smell – light a gently scented candle, spritz on a bottled scent that turns you on, eliminate distracting or unpleasant smells

Sound – quiet music is great for beginners: choose music that is calm and rhythmic to promote relaxation and help you become more intune with your heart beat.

Taste – before you begin, prepare yourself some refreshment for after. A light snack of fruit and plenty of water is a nice way to treat yourself afterwards.  

Start slow and take your time 

One of the best tips for sensual massage is also the simplest: take it slow! At Secret Tantric, all our massages are a minimum of 60 minutes. Why rush a good thing? A sensual massage is about the journey, not the destination. Show your partner the depth of your desire and intention with smooth, slow touch and synchronised deep breathing. 

Breathe together

Awaken your body and mind by flooding your system with oxygen, and opening up your lungs. Focused breathing immediately makes your senses more alert, and pleasure more intense. It will also release tension and relax the body, which promotes circulation, a necessary part of arousal. 

  1. Inhale: Draw a breath in smoothly through your nose, silently, steadily, counting to four. Let your chest open and fill with air, but don’t hunch your shoulders up. 
  2. Hold: Keep that breath in your chest and silently count to seven. The first time you may not make it to seven and that’s okay. As you repeat the pattern it will become easier. 
  3. Exhale: Let your breath out through your mouth as you count to eight. Use the whole time and push all the breath out of your chest, steadily.

Make room for intimacy

As you repeat this sequence cycle four more times (five focused breaths, total) you will feel your bodies begin to relax and your minds will quiet. When breathing with a partner, face each other and hold hands or place your right hands on each other’s hearts. Eye contact is essential. For even more intimacy, sit cross legged on the floor or bed and have her sit in your lap with her legs around you. This is known as the ‘lotus’ position and it allows you to hold one another as you sync up your breathing, and ultimately, your heartbeats. Touch and sensuality is key in sensual massage but resist the urge to distract each other as you do this initial breathwork. It is foundational to the slow build of energy needed for the most incredible release.

Be considerate of their body

No doubt you are already familiar with how your partner likes to be touched, where they like to be touched, and where their problem areas are.  be sure to check in with your partner about where and how you’re touching them.  When you engage in a new activity like sensual massage, it’s important to seek your partner’s consent. If it feels heavy handed or awkward to ask for their consent  simply work it into the conversation as you work your hands over their body. It can be as simple as giving them a heads up about where you are going to touch them next or asking them if they are enjoying the way you’re touching them. 

Consider the following phrases and use them as needed:

  • How does that feel?
  • Is that enough/too much pressure?
  • Next I’m going to touch your _____, is that okay?

Think beyond your hands

One of the sexiest things about the decision to take your sensual massage to the next level at home, is that you can do whatever feels good for both of you. Consider using more than your hands to massage your partner. Other parts of your body that you may consider using are:

  • forearms
  • elbows
  • chest
  • knees
  • legs and thighs

Give without getting

If you want your partner to fully indulge in a sensual massage, make it worth their while by offering a no-strings-attached session. Exploring the nuances and intimacies of sensual massage together has literally no downside and can only bring you closer together. If they want to return the favour afterwards and get their hands on you too, all the better, but don’t make it about you. 

Discover together 

At-home DIY sensual massage is a great way to connect and increase your intimacy. Making quality time with your partner is always a good choice. You can also learn by experience, and book yourself an erotic massage with Secret Tantric, the best London sensual massage experts. Treat yourself to a sensual sensual massage, or better yet, try a couples massage and experience intimacy and bliss together. Secret Tantric also offers classes and workshops to the public, hosted by the UK’s top massage experts. A massage session or a workshop on massage or Tantra can make excellent gifts as well, perfect for anniversaries, birthdays, or just because.

Slippery is sexy

A Sure-fire way to ruin the sensuality of a sensual massage is to use  too little oil or the wrong whale all together.  At secret tantric we use only organic, cold pressed, virgin grapeseed oil. After much trial and error, we have landed on this type of massage oil for a number of reasons:


  •  it is odourless and flavourless
  •  it is non-comedeogenic, meaning it will not give you breakouts or spots
  •  it is easy to obtain both in-store and online
  •  it is a high-quality oil but doesn’t come at an exorbitant price

When practising sensual massage at home there’s no need to make things complicated. Realistically you could use any kind of vegetable based oil, including coconut oil, however other vegetable based oils tend to clog the skin’s pores which no one wants.  Whatever the massage oil is that you use, be sure to lay down some dark coloured towels or other drop cloth to absorb any spills or stains.

Travel their body like a map

If you are unsure  of where or how to begin follow this tried-and-true map for an easy order of events within the massage. Begin by having your partner lay on their stomach face down. This will give you access to their back, buttocks and legs, and the soles of their feet. Begin with their feet (no tickling!), massaging one than the other. Then move to their calves and the backs of their thighs, again massaging one side and then the other. You may be tempted to reach between their legs or push apart their buttocks, but there will be time for that later. Rub their hips and waist, gently working the muscles up each side of their spine to their shoulders. Don’t neglect the shoulders and neck and be sure to work down each arm to their hand, again repeating one side after the other. 

Tease, tease, tease

By now your partner should be very relaxed and likely ready for more intimate or sexual touching. Tease them gently by revisiting the erogenous zones you can reach with them in that position. Pay particular attention to their neck, the small of their back, the cushions of their buttocks, and the sides of their thighs.  These erogenous zones will get things moving quite quickly when your partner is already in a state of relaxation and pampering. Resist indulging them too much too quickly. Instead make them wait a bit and let the delicious erotic tension build.

Turn them over

When you’re finished with the back side of your partner’s body, have them turn over so you can work on their front. If you both have the self-control, you can begin again at their feet and repeat the process working on the front of their body. Again, when you reach the apex of their thighs or their breasts try to remain focussed on the massage itself versus the potential for sexual pleasure.  Resisting the urge to ravish each other may sound counterproductive to intimacy. However, by extending the experience and waiting just a little bit, you can achieve a more exciting and more explosive finish. 

The point of no return

There comes a point in every sensual massage where the focus shifts from therapeutic touch to pure desire. You and your partner have the opportunity to indulge in getting more physical at any point that you like. We recommend stretching that moment to near its breaking point. This will allow for both of you to be worked up and focussed in the moment. When you are both ready for more  you can move towards more specifically sexual touch or giving them an orgasm.  Whether you choose manual stimulation, oral stimulation,  or penetration is up to the two of you. Bear in mind that  the massage oil you have chosen may or may not be an appropriate sexual lubricant. If it’s not, be sure to use your favourite lube as needed. 

The grand finale

How you and your partner reach the pinnacle of pleasure through sensual massage is entirely up to you. In the industry it is called a happy ending, but for you at home it might just be foreplay. Likewise, there’s nothing  that says sensual massage at home needs to end with sex or orgasm. 

Sensual massage is a great tool for intimacy because it requires both partners to be present in the moment with each other. Don’t stress yourself about the technique, most times doing what feels comfortable and natural will be the right choice. Just be sure that you are seeking, understanding, and listening to your partner’s needs and their consent.

Be sure to debrief 

When all is said and done, be sure that you circle back and talk about the massage.  Their pleasure may seem obvious to you, but if you have an open dialogue about the massage, you may learn some things they would like for next time, or something you could have done differently. This doesn’t need to be a conversation involving criticism, nor does it need to be filled with artificial praise. Part of the intimacy of connecting through sensual massage is being real about how that massage worked for you. Sharing this information, especially if it requires you to be vulnerable, can be very helpful in terms of bonding and intimacy.  Discuss how it went, what each of you enjoyed, what you’d change for next time. Don’t forget to show appreciation for your partner’s honesty. A ‘thank you’ and an ‘I love you’ can go a long way.

Go forth and massage

Now that you’ve had a crash course in sensual massage,  you have a miraculous tool in your sexual tool box.  Remember, not every sensual massage needs to be exactly the same as the last. Sometimes more or less intensity will be needed, sometimes you’ll both be too eager to get  to that grand finale. There’s really no wrong way to take your sensual massage to the next level at home. Listen to your partner, communicate effectively, and most of all, enjoy yourselves.

What are you waiting for?

It’s one thing to read about the sensual massage experience but it is something else entirely to have your own. There’s no reason to hesitate, simply pick up the phone and give us a ring and we will have you set up for the time of your life within minutes . Whether you seek deep tissue relaxation or a slippery sexy happy ending massage, Secret Tantric has what you need. And we know how to give it to you!  Call us today to set up your appointment. You will not regret it!

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