Lingam massage is a common part of tantric and tantric sex. Although Tantra is an age-old concept, the concept of a proper lingam massage is not very well known in the Western world.  Made popular in the 90s by an especially racy episode of HBO’s Sex and the City, lingam massage still holds a lot of mystery and intrigue. In professional tantric massage, lingam massage is among the most sought-after forms. Now, with our advanced guide to lingam massage, you, too, can experience this energetic and fulfilling act in your home. Read our detailed instructions and take your skills to the next level. 

Lingam massage is a powerful form of tantric massage that focuses on the power and energy of the lingam. It is an ancient practice with many benefits for enhancing male arousal and pleasure. Perhaps lingam massage may not sound like much. But if you’ve had one or given one, you will know that a lingam massage is an exceptional tantric technique that yields exceptional results. The lingam refers to the male member or penis. Therefore a lingam massage is a massage that specifically works the penis and surrounding area. Lingam is a Sanskrit word that has been used for centuries to describe both the physical penis itself, as well as the broader concept of maleness and cosmic masculinity. 

Let’s explore what tantra and lingam massage is before we get into the details of how to provide and incredible lingam massage

Under the tantra umbrella

The word tantra is also a Sanskrit word. It translates to English as “web”, relating to the interconnectedness between individual people and between themselves and their bodies.  Tantra’s roots are in Buddhism and Hinduism,  so it is no surprise that it is more than just a physical practice. Tantra is a holistic system related to overall wellness and certain philosophies about intimacy, connection, and sex.  In modern and popular culture, Tantra is often considered extreme or outlandish. If you mention tantra or tantric therapy, most people immediately associate it with yoga and incredibly long, sustained orgasms.  While these tantric associations are fair and somewhat accurate, they are a limited view of what tantra is and how tantra can positively affect one’s life.

The lingam/yoni binary

Tantra is a philosophy that promotes harmony and balance in its practitioners. One of the major focuses of tantra is the exchange of energies. Often described in binary terms: male/female, high vibration/low vibration, etc. One common binary is the lingam and the yoni. In English, we know them as the penis and vagina. Therapeutically massaging and activating the energies of the lingam and yoni has been a tantric practice for centuries. One belief recognised in tantric therapy is that the human body can attract, retain, and release sexual energy. To optimise intimacy and pleasure, tantra practitioners aim to restore balance between attraction, retention and release of energy.

More than a hand-job

The above explanations of lingam massage hopefully clarify that this centuries-old technique is so much more than an exotic or glorified handjob. Lingam massage is a powerful tool in the tantric arsenal because it is focused on the direct stimulation and arousal of primal sexual energies. Unleashing these energies can be incredibly beneficial for the lingam owner and incredibly gratifying for the person giving them the massage. Unlike the common handjob, the lingam massage is focused, specific, and takes much time because it is done with purpose. Hand jobs are traditionally just a means to an end and rarely involve much thought or technique.

Real life benefits of lingam massage

In case you needed convincing, here are some ways that lingam massage can improve the quality of life for the lingam owner:

  • Promotes Mind-Body Connection and self-awareness
  • Helps improve or repair self-esteem issues that centre around sex
  • Helps release deep-seated fear, anger, or shame associated with one’s sexuality or genitals
  • Can increase intimacy and improve communication between couples
  • Helps the person heal after negative or traumatic experiences such as injury or assault
  • Encourage circulation to the genitals, a requisite need for strong and pleasurable erections
  • Can discourage premature ejaculation
  • Helps to focus and direct sexual energy in a meaningful and positive way

The Rules of Engagement

There is nothing wrong with a spontaneous or impromptu lingam massage. However, a little bit of forethought will go a long way. You needn’t go all out, but a sexy and relaxing atmosphere and a decent massage oil go a long way.  Because lingam massages are generally slow to start and unrushed, using oil is an essential detail. The last thing you want to do is rub someone raw while trying to pleasure them!  At Secret Tantric, we use only 100% pure, organic, cold-pressed grapeseed oil. We like that it is tasteless and odourless, relatively easy to clean up and attain in-store or online.  The skin of the lingam can be susceptible, so avoid massage oils with many additives, scents or flavours.  You don’t need anything fancy; you need to keep things slick.

Get a grip

Once supplies are ready and the space is ideal and conducive to a sensual experience, it’s time to get more hands-on. 

  • Have your nude partner lay down on their back; they may or may not already be aroused. Sit, stand or kneel beside them, perpendicular to their hip. 
  • Regardless of the state of their lingam, begin to touch their thighs, pelvis and abdomen gently with smooth, sensual strokes. 
  • Once the lingam is erect, grasp it gently in your dominant hand. Wrap your fingers loosely around the shaft, anchoring your hand with your thumb. You need not hold it tightly.
  • Begin to stroke their lingam along the length of the shaft from base to just below the head (glans).  If your partner is uncircumcised, use the movement of the foreskin to exaggerate the motion of your hand. Keep your wrist relaxed and the rhythm steady and slow.

Build the tension slowly

There’s no doubt that your partner will respond heartily to this sort of touch.  An excellent lingam massage aims to establish, maintain, and release Sexual Energy. Some practitioners of Tantra like to withhold their climax at the end of a lingam massage. Some believe there are benefits to holding on to that storage of sexual energy and repurposing it. If that’s not the case for you and your partner, begin working towards a spectacular finale.

  • Use your non-dominant hand to create warm sand pressure on your partner’s pubis. While you stroke, slowly lean in and press your other palms into the fleshy space just above the base of their lingam. This will add to the pleasant pressure within their erection and give them a stable position to continue stroking from. 
  • As you lean in,  increase the range of motion along your partner shaft with ice move upward motion.
  • Allow your palm to skim along the underside of the lingam head before releasing your hand entirely and starting again at the base.
  • Continue with slow, smooth strokes, giving just a little attention to the head but not too much.
  • As your partner responds positively, begin to increase the speed but not the intensity of the touch.  increase the speed only incrementally, just enough to establish a smooth, quick rhythm.

Edging is where it’s at

Edging has become a hot-button word in the sex-positive community. Simply put, it is the act of bringing yourself or someone else to the brink of orgasm and then denying the continued stimulation they need. This process is repeated over and over until they orgasm or they are denied further. A good lingam massage will take its recipient to that edge multiple times, each building the intensity and the need to orgasm. If your relationship has established power dynamics, this can be a fun way to play with domination and submission. Just be sure to check with your partner before you do anything that will startle, distract or confuse them.  The objective here is to give them a slow and seamless build towards a fantastic climax, and jarring them out of their bliss is counterproductive. 

Head for the finish line

Your massage recipient will be squirming and squeaking and likely arching up to try to get more out of every one of your hand’s strokes. What a wonderful position to have them in! If you have edged them effectively, they will be on a hair trigger, so proceed cautiously. These final techniques will be the nail in the coffin of their resolve. Be prepared for a particularly voluminous and exceptional ejaculation!

  • Loosen your grip once again, and reverse your dominant hand so that the back of your hand is facing you and your thumb is pointing down.
  • Change your focus from the gentle upward sweeping motion and instead put more emphasis on the downstroke.
  •  By focussing on the downstroke, you begin to tug at the tightest skin of the lingam: the head. 
  • Stroke smoothly and quickly, increasing the pace and letting the centre of your palm brush over the tip of the lingam with each stroke
  • Alternate between a few fast, smooth strokes and polishing the tip of the lingam in the cup of the palm of your hand. Make sure you are using a sufficient amount of massage oil because the tip of the lingam is incredibly sensitive, and you don’t want to over-stimulate them at the last moment and ruin the orgasm. 
  • Encourage your partner to breathe. Breathing deeply as they approach orgasm will help the orgasm to be bigger overall and will last longer.  Likewise, if they are getting too close, quickly slow down or remove your hand from their lingam and encourage them to take long breaths until they are ready to proceed again.

The last moments before blast-off

Now that you have taken such time and care to massage your partner’s lingam, it’s their turn to feel the fruits of your labour. 

  • Focus the motion of your hand on the head of the lingam and an inch or so below it. Keep your grip loose and soft. If you grip it too hard at this point, all they will feel is the pumping sensation of your hand and not the delicious nuance of a gentler touch.
  • Use your fingertips to gently pluck at and stroke the head of the lingam while holding the base firmly with your non-dominant hand.
  •  Keep their lingam at a 90-degree angle from their body if possible or bend it back slightly so the tip is pointing more towards their feet. Under no circumstances should you make sudden or overly intense gestures at this point – be gentle.
  • Continue to stroke them smoothly.  you will know they are on the brink of ejaculation when their legs and pelvis flex and tighten. In some men, the testes also tighten and bunch up closer to the body as if trying to launch the semen they contain.
  • Do not be alarmed if there is more semen than usual or if the erection does not immediately soften after ejaculation.
  •  One perceived benefit of tantric massage, especially lingam massage, is that it can sometimes mitigate the refractory period, aka the 20 minutes or so after ejaculation before a man can become erect again. This is not necessarily true for all men but is a frequent bonus.

Practice makes perfect

You have read our advanced guide to lingam massage; now you’re ready to try it out. Good lingam massage does take some practice! Don’t be surprised if you feel like you need to work on your technique or the pacing of the massage. You won’t have trouble finding an eager subject to practice with. After all, the lingam is a very eager part of the body!

You don’t have to sacrifice intimacy for pleasure

Lingam massage can be an incredibly intimate and personal experience. It is a pleasure-packed way to please your partner but also leaves room for increased intimacy. How intimate you make a lingam massage with your partner is entirely up to you. Still, eye contact, sexy talk,  or adding your favourite cake can help turn your passion’s glowing Embers into a roaring fire. Remember, lingam massage is about pleasure and enjoyment,  sharing intimacy and connecting. Don’t fret about technique! Base the success of your lingam massage on your partner’s response to it. If they are happy and satisfied, you’ve done a great job! 

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