We get asked all kinds of questions all the time. One that was put to us recently was “Is tantric and edging the same?”. This is a particularly interesting question because it assumes that ‘tantric’ is an action when it’s really a description. Tantric simply means ‘in the way of Tantra’. The short answer here is, no, they are not the same. But they are absolutely related. Let’s examine how!
In order to unpack the differences between edging and tantric practice, we need to understand all of the terms at play.
Tantra is a Sanskrit word that loosely translates to English as ‘woven web’. This is an apt description because Tantra itself is all about interconnectedness. Tantra was developed in the 5th and 6th centuries in Nepal and India. It arose as a form of social and religious resistance to the groups in power at the time. Worried that their beliefs in harmony and balance would be squashed, a group of passionate spiritualists put together a series of documents called ‘The Tantras’. These were a lifestyle guide for tantric living. There was great emphasis put on clean living, pacifism and non-violence, spiritual pursuits and ascension, as well as sexual equality and deep self-knowledge.
The term ‘tantric’ can be applied to any practice that is influenced by the concepts and tenets of Tantra. Some people seek to live a completely tantric lifestyle that is deeply rooted in spiritualism and the pursuit of harmony with oneself, others, and the universe. In order to partake in tantric practice, you do not need to be initiated or affiliated in any way with any particular spiritual path. In fact, Tantra and tantric practices have had somewhat of a renaissance in the last decade. This has everything to do with current new age designs on secular spirituality.
Until recently, the term ‘edging’ was not the colloquialism that it is today. Edging is a topic that is very popular right now in sex positive self-care circles. It may seem like a brand new idea but it’s not at all! People have been using edging techniques as part of their sexual repertoire since time immemorial. Edging requires a person to almost achieve orgasm without completely losing control. Think of it like running towards the edge of a cliff and stopping just in time; breathless, looking over the edge into the chasm you almost fell into. Then, slowly walking back to where you began and running towards the edge again. While this may sound like an exercise in frustration, edging is also a tried-and-true tantric practice that is an essential part of experiencing tantric orgasms.
Similar but different
Now that they have been defined, you can see how these terms work together. Edging is a pre-orgasm technique that may or may not be incorporated into tantric practice. Tantric practice is anything reflective of the ancient teachings of Tantra. However, all of these concepts can coexist and result in some very exciting and eye opening pleasure.
Bringing it all together
Tantra is a practice of the whole self: mind, spirit and body. Remember the translation of Tantra? The ‘woven web’ that you create through tantric practice helps you to align your personal energy and intentions to maximize your possible benefits. These benefits can be anything from improving sleep and cognitive processing to an improvement in erectile dysfunction.
Combining edging and tantric concepts
Edging is a fairly significant feature of tantric massage and tantric sex. It can be enjoyed with a partner or on your own. You can spend hours edging and resisting orgasm or you can get to that edge once or twice and give in. It’s up to you! Pleasing your partner through tantric edging is awesome but working on your edging game solo can be a lot of fun too. When it comes to sex the release is always the goal in our culture. However, Eastern philosophies have been holding back and getting more from sex for a long time. The key is in the breathing. Once you’re ready to start, it’s time to focus on your breath.
Breathing is the key!
Proper breathing technique can change your life. Surprisingly, most people don’t give any consideration to their breathing. Because it’s an automatic body response, it isn’t something that we think about, even though we should. Tantric practice uses a lot of breathing techniques to establish the physical and mental state the people are seeking. Thoughtful and intentional breathing will awaken your body and mind by flooding your system with oxygen, and opening up your lungs. This kind of breathing immediately makes your senses more alert, and pleasure more intense. It will also release tension and relax your body, which promotes circulation, a necessary part of arousal.
The optimum deep breath for our purposes in tantric arousal is a slow, focused three-step breath. In the biz, we call them Belly Breaths.
To begin, sit comfortably, relax your shoulders, let your hands be relaxed in your lap. Exhale out your mouth and close it without clenching your jaw.
- Inhale: Draw a breath in smoothly through your nose, silently, steadily, counting to four. Let your chest open and fill with air, but don’t hunch your shoulders up.
- Hold: Keep that breath in your chest and silently count to seven. The first time you may not make it to seven and that’s okay. As you repeat the pattern it will become easier.
- Exhale: Let your breath out through your mouth as you count to eight. Use the whole time and push all the breath out of your chest, steadily.
Repetition and Patience
As you repeat this sequence cycle four more times (five focused belly breaths, total) you will feel your body begin to relax and your mind will quiet. If you’re breathing with a partner, you may want to face each other and hold hands or place your right hands on each other’s hearts. For even more intimacy, sit cross legged on the floor or bed and have her sit in your lap with her legs around you. This is known as the ‘lotus’ position and it allows you to hold one another as you sync up your breathing, and ultimately, your heartbeats. Touch and sensuality is key in tantric practice but resist the urge to distract each other as you do this initial breathwork. It is foundational to the slow build of energy needed for the most incredible release. Don’t forget: tantra is about the journey, not just the destination!
Practice makes perfect
Tantric edging combines the power of concentration and breathwork with intimate stimulation, Resisting the urge to touch as you finish may sound like torture, but it comes with some dividends. Known as “ruined orgasms” or “hands -free orgasms”, this technique can be a game-changer. Stopping at the last moment requires you to know when you have enough stimulation to put your orgasm in motion, but also not so much that it sneaks up on you and is anti-climactic. Going hands-free to finish is worth the intensity and can be the key to learning to be multi-orgasmic. Yes! Men can do that! By building up to release and then managing it through calculated friction, you may be able to come more than once. It can take some practice but it’s an incredible experience when you do it. Patience is everything with tantric edging.
Hopefully, understanding the terminology surrounding tantric practice and edging can clarify the differences and similarities. Edging can be a wonderful way to explore and understand your body or your partner’s body, but don’t stop there. If you are looking for a new kind of pleasure and a new kind of orgasm, be sure to incorporate the focussed belly breathing into your next self-serve session.
If you are interested in experiencing tantric edging in a more structured environment, come see one of our stunning masseuses ASAP. An hour of tantric massage or lingam massage will put you on a new path towards exceptional pleasure and improved self understanding. Remember, the better you understand your own body and your own pleasure, the better you can articulate it to someone else. Call us directly and we will get you set up for your first tantric massage session. You won’t regret it!
What are you waiting for?
If you are ready to reap the benefits of seeing a tantric therapist, give us a call. Here at Secret Tantric we are committed to answering all of your questions and making tantric therapy accessible and available for everyone. Give us a call today and see how a visit to a tantric therapist can put you on a path to self improvement and sexual freedom.
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