Making time to connect with your partner and re-ignite your passion starts here with 20 tips for giving a tantric massage. Delight your partner and have them in the palm of your hands with this step by step guide.

20 Tips for giving a tantric massage

1. Take some time out

For any kind of tantric therapy to work, you need to take time out of your schedule and connect with your partner. Only then will the magic start! Plan ahead and be sure that you have enough time. At Secret Tantric, our tantric massage sessions are minimum one hour, but often clients elect to spend longer, so we recommend you give yourself at least that much time. If you and your partner have an evening together, uninterrupted, that will be a perfect amount of time.

2. Find some privacy and create a sexy environment

You and your partner will need to be in a comfortable and private environment where you won’t be interrupted by kids, pets or your mobile phones. You can use scented candles and soft music to help create a comfortable setting, or whatever else helps to get you in the mood. Low light and a comfortably warm temperature will help you relax and heighten your senses.

3. Agree that orgasm is not the goal

There should be no pressure on either partner to orgasm during tantric massage. You can certainly finish that way, but tantric massage is really more about the journey than the destination. During the massage you and your partner will both be aroused. By slowly experiencing and extending that arousal you’ll find a new level of intimacy. Remember, men don’t have to maintain an erection throughout and women are not expected to be turned on in any one way. Tantric sensuality is experienced and expressed differently by everyone. There is no wrong way to enjoy a tantric massage.

4. So much more than a nude massage

Get undressed and have your partner lay comfortably on their back. Start the massage slowly and gently using your fingers and palms to touch their whole body. Start at the bottom and work your way up, from their toes to their head. There is no such thing as too much touch in nude massage so keep your hands moving and pay attention to their responses.

5. Breathe to maintain your focus

Breathing deeply and steadily together, in unison, will automatically make you feel more connected. Synchronise your breath and maintain a comfortable amount of eye contact, meaning you needn’t stare, but let yourselves connect through a loving and desirous gaze.

6. Include lingam massage

Lingam massage is quite literally a massage of the lingam, or penis. The receiver should be in a relaxed position on their back before you begin your erotic massage. Placing pillows under the hips and knees to support his legs will help promote circulation, a key element in arousal and tantric massage.

7. Choose natural lubricants

Use your favourite massage oils or an oil based lubricant on the hands to stimulate and arouse the lingam and the rest of your partner’s body. Plenty of oil will ensure the erotic massage, especially the yoni massage and lingam massage are frictionless and sensual.

8. Massage the testicles (gently!)

Massage between his testicles and anus (the perineum), and above the penis to the public bone. Massaging these areas will provide the possibility for more intense pleasure later on by helping to fully engorge the lingham and softening and relaxing the muscles that are responsible for orgasm.

9. Body to body massage

Use your fingers, palms, forearms, or go full contact with body to body massage. Remember to breathe together!

10. Find the “Sacred Spot”

In tantric tradition the pleasure potential of the prostate gives it the moniker, the “sacred spot”.  The prostate can be partially accessed, externally, midway between the testicles and the anus. Firm pressure and slow rubbing while stimulating the penis will more than likely be extremely pleasurable. True and direct access to the prostate requires penetration. Use plenty of lubrication and go slowly into the anus, applying pressure less than a finger’s length deep and press towards the stomach from the inside. Gentle pressure on the prostate while the lingam is stimulated and during orgasm will result in longer, deeper and more voluminous ejaculation.

11. No need for climax … yet

Tantric massage doesn’t focus only on orgasm. Edging, or repeatedly approaching orgasm and backing off before the finish line, over and over, is the goal throughout your tantric massage. Breathing is key to edging, so keep breathing together steadily, even if you want to pant and breathe shallowly with pleasure, give your body the gift of deep breaths.

12. Finishing the lingam massage

If orgasm is desired, use the edging technique to repeatedly tease until there’s no stopping. Because of the extensive massage, improved circulation and flood of oxygen that the brain receives from deep breathing, the resulting orgasm may be more intense and longer lasting than normal.

13. Include yoni massage

Yoni massage is an ancient practice that involves stimulation of the genitals through sensual, rhythmic touch. To begin the yoni massage, have the receiver lie on her back with her legs supported and comfortably spread. It’s essential that she is in a comfortable position, so use cushions or pillows to elevate her bum and hips, tilting her pelvis

14. The wetter the better

Unlike the lingam, the beautiful and sacred yoni is self-lubricating. However, do not rely upon her natural moisture for yoni massage. Using a quality massage oil is essential because the tissues of the vulva and vagina are incredibly delicate and can be easily torn if too much friction is applied. When you think you have drizzled enough oil on her mound, pour a bit more. Begin with enough oil to flow down over her mound and through her lips. Have more on hand, just in case.

15. Massage the whole vulva

Go slow as you massage the vulva, try to vary the pressure, and use gentle touch and apply pressure slowly and let the pleasure build. Discover and give attention to every curve and crevice. Give more or less equal attention to every part without any penetration.

16. Focus on the labia

Use your thumb and forefinger to gently squeeze the labia and slide your fingers up and down both lips. Make sure to do this with both the labia minora and labia majora, the inner and outer lips of the vulva.

17. Don’t forget the clitoris

Begin by using your thumb to rub around her clitoris in clockwise and anticlockwise movements without pulling back the clitoral hood (the skin that drapes over and protects the clit). Touch the hood and gently push it up (towards her navel) to expose the glans of the clitoris. This small, sensitive nodule is just one of eighteen parts that make up the clitoris. There may be very little that is exposed to the exterior of the body, but the clitoris is actually a wishbone shaped organ that flanks the top sides of the vulva. Remember: the goal is not to orgasm but to provide an erotic sensual massage, so be careful with how much pressure or direct contact you give the clitoris.

FUN FACT: The human clitoris contains around 8000 nerve endings, which is, on average, twice the number as found in the human penis.

Be gentle and pay attention to her responses, the clitoris is very easy to overstimulate and can become painful. Pleasure and comfort are the goals of tantric massage, not unexpected pain.

18. Gentle penetration

After giving enough time to the labia and clitoris, move towards the vagina. According to many tantric therapists in London, you should only use your right hand. They believe the right hand is positively charged, and that the genitals are negatively charged, creating an energy circuit between you and your partner.

19. Use two fingers

When she’s ready, slowly insert the ends of your fingers inside her vagina and ask her to squeeze and relax. As she relaxes insert your finger some more and use your thumb to stimulate her clitoris. In time, add another finger and aim for the G-spot. Pay careful attention to her reactions as you don’t want to hurt her.

20. Finishing the yoni massage

Women have many erogenous zones that can cause orgasm, but the clitoris is the most reliable. The combination of clitoral stimulation and G-spot is, for many women, the ticket to multiple orgasms. Use your fingers to stroke and press her G-spot until she orgasms. She may need you to continue the same pressure and speed if another orgasm is pending. As with all sex of any kind, communicate and be respectful of your partner’s needs and experience.

Tantric massage at home is a great way to re-connect and increase your intimacy, but there’s nothing like leaving it to the pros. Whether you visit our masseuses alone or as a couple we are everywhere in London that you need us to be. What are you waiting for?


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