Erotic Massage Guide for Beginners

When you think of the words erotic massage, no doubt a sexy, steamy scene comes to mind. And you’re not wrong!  Erotic massage is just that:  a massage with erotic elements.  As a professional massage agency, Secret Tantric teachers and trains all are masseuses the arts of tantric and erotic massage. But with a little effort and instruction, you can give yourself or a partner a fabulous erotic massage at-home.  Erotic massage is as much about the preparation as it is the execution, so be sure to follow our recommended steps carefully. A successful and enjoyable erotic massage is about more than just the body, engaging other senses is important and as a lot of sensuality and value to your massage.

Gather Supplies and materials

In theory, any massage can become an erotic massage, but there are some materials and supplies that will make your massage easier, more comfortable, and more effective. It may seem like overkill to go the extra mile with these supplies, but all of them can be purchased inexpensively and without too much difficulty either in store or online. We recommend always using the best products that you can afford or get your hands on. The best massage products are not necessarily the most expensive, there are lots of affordable options, but do take the time and care to get the best that you can. You and your partner both deserve the best!

Lube up with sexy oils

Many practitioners have a favourite oil that they like to use that they swear by.  You can use any vegetable based oil that you like.  We do not recommend that you use lotions or water based personal lubricants.  Creams and lotions, as well as water-based lubricants, are all designed to be absorbed into the skin. While you do want some absorption, the purpose of massage oil is to reduce friction between your hands and the person’s body.  If the oil that you use is absorbed too quickly you will end up using more than is necessary and you will not have the sexy slip and slide that you want.  At Secret Tantric we exclusively use organic, cold pressed grapeseed oil.  It is pure, non-comedogenic and cleans up easier than other plant-based oils.

Always put down a towel

Erotic massage is best when you don’t scrimp on the oil. The whole objective of an erotic massage is to have a slick and frictionless full body rub down. This requires more oil than you think you might need to use, and that can be a bit messy. We recommend that you give a massage on a comfortable surface that has been protected by towels, sheets, etc. to ensure that you can contain the mess.  All oils will stain most fabrics so it’s important to keep spills to a minimum and to use towels to clean up or catch mess that you don’t mind staining. 

Prepare your space

If your goal is a sexy, relaxing  erotic massage,  take a little bit of time to tidy up and create a sexy atmosphere. You don’t have to redecorate the whole room, but minimize the clutter and ensure that the lighting is dim and calming. It’s hard to get in the mood when you are in a messy room with harsh lighting. You may think that an erotic massage begins when you put your hands on your partner, but the massage has begun long before that. It begins in their mind and yours before any touch is achieved. How the room feels, what sort of energy you’re putting out, all of these things will contribute to the ambience of the massage. Failure to consider these details will only detract from your erotic massage experience. It may seem like extra steps, but believe us it is worth it.

Candlelight is the right light

Take the sexy ambience a step further by adding Candlelight. Turning down the lights or using small lamps and candles to create atmosphere is your best bet.  Scented candles are a choice, but be sure that you know if your partner has any allergies or sensitivities to smell before you Splash out on an expensive and smelly candle.  Scent can be a powerful aphrodisiac and gender may play a role in your choice of candle. Generally speaking women are most likely to be aroused by fresh potent Botanical smells. think Jasmine, Cedar, Amber, Etc. For men they tend to be more turned on by sweet edible smells. Look for candles in scents like cinnamon, nutmeg, caramel, anything that smells like home-baked treats.  Paying attention to these minor details can help make your erotic massage experience everything that it can be. 

Don’t forget to prepare for afterwards

Readying your space with the necessary materials ahead of time is a great first step. Don’t forget that after the massage is important too. Both giving and receiving a massage can be surprisingly taxing on the body, in terms of the energy that it requires. Your subject may be blissfully relaxed when you’re finished with them,  and that’s great,  all the more reason to consider the aftercare before you begin.  Have fresh, cool water on hand so you can both quench your thirst. Prepare a snack after, something light like fresh fruit or a treat like chocolate.  The final minutes of a massage and the minutes afterwards can be some of the most intimate. The last thing you want is to be stumbling around looking for a snack and disrupting the ambience you’ve worked so hard to create.

Showers or baths before and after

Here at Secret Tantric one of our most popular forms of massage is our Aqua Massage.  Many of our clients refer to Aqua Massage as The Best of Both Worlds because it starts in the tub or shower and finishes “back on land” with the remainder of the massage. Starting your at-home erotic massage in the shower or bath is a great way to begin. This gives you an opportunity to warm up together and relax, get into a sexy headspace, experience some touch and affection before the massage begins. Heading for the bath or hower after the massage is complete is a spectacular idea. You can keep the vibe going while cleaning up, and continue the fun or have a bit of bonding time before you move on to something else

A massage in three parts

Once you’ve made all of the preparations for your erotic massage, it’s time to get down to business. Think of your at-home erotic massage in 3 parts:

1. The Beginning – You and your partner connect through touch and breathwork
2. The Middle – The most deeply focussed part of your massage, this is the time to heightened sensation and  build urgency
3. The Ending – An erotic finale that can end in one or both of you climaxing

By breaking your massage down into three sections you won’t be completely caught up and swept away by arousal and excitement. While erotic massage is a sexy, sensual experience, it is also still a massage, and the benefits of a physical and muscular massage still remain. By pacing yourself and moving through these three distinct Parts you will be able to focus and intensify your partner’s experience, giving them the most fulfilling massage possible. 

For the beginning

Start by undressing. You can each undress for the other, undress each other, however you want to get naked, go ahead and do that. If you’re feeling any giddy or nervous excitement, don’t fight the giggles that may come. Allow yourselves not to take the situation too seriously. Yes, this is a fancy grown up erotic massage, but it’s also just quality time with your partner. Don’t make it into more than it needs to be and stress each other out. The purpose here is to connect relax and enjoy the intimacy of erotic massage. Once you have undressed, slowly take turns touching each other’s bodies. If you want the massage to be more of a treat for your partner than a mutual experience that’s okay too but there’s nothing wrong with touching each other mutually as well.

Intentional breathing is key

Breath-work will help you mentally engage in an intimate exercise like erotic massage with a partner. Breathe together, and use what we call in the industry, “belly breaths”. A belly breath is simply a slow deep inhalation/exhalation  that stimulates your parasympathetic nervous system. This allows for your body to enter a state of focused relaxation, an important part of arousal. To do a belly breath follow this pattern: 

• Inhale slowly through your nose, spending a full  count of 8 to fill your lungs
• Once full, holds that breath for a count of 6
• Slowly exhale through your mouth, spending another full count of 8 to push the air out of your lungs

Repeat this sequence four times, in tandem with each other. holding hands and gazing into one another’s eyes as you regulate your breathing with your partner is a wonderful building block for the intimacy of a great erotic massage.

The middle of the massage

Once you and your partner have began with some sensual touch, connected through intentional belly breaths, you should be feeling sort of high on the erotic energy you are creating. Now is the time to work with that energy more directly. Have your partner lie down, the bed is great – but again, remember to put down those towels! Start by massaging their shoulders And neck, moving down  their back.  Aim to deeply massage every part of them. Don’t neglect their arms or their sides. The area from the armpit to the hip can be highly sensitive and might be ticklish. If the two of you dissolve into giggles, don’t worry about it. This is about connecting and bonding and having a delicious experience. There’s no reason to be too formal about it.

Bum, yes. Bits, no. Not yet. 

As you move down your partner’s body, you will inevitably come to their hips, buttocks and thighs.  These are erogenous zones for all genders, due to their proximity to genitals. At this point in the massage, avoid the genitals, you will have lots of time to engage with your partner’s most private parts in the second half of the middle of the massage, when they turn over.  For now, focus on making long strokes across their body with your hands. Use your whole hand from fingertips to the heel at the base of your palm. Don’t be afraid to lean in close and press yourself against their body. Putting your chest to their back, straddling them, or using your thighs, chest and stomach to provide the massage sensations will be a very welcome tactic. When you reach their feet don’t skimp. Women especially love a good foot massage.

The beginning of the end

You can spend as much time as you want on your erotic massage. At Secret Tantric our professional massages are a minimum of 60 minutes, often much longer. Once you have massage the back of your partner’s body, carefully avoiding overstimulating yourself or them, have them turn over.  On the first side you will have finished at their feet, when they turn over begin there and work your way back up.  You’ll find that the rest of the massage is likely to be focussed between their hips and their shoulders, because as you increase the urgency and tension in the massage the genitals and breasts will become of primary importance. 

Lingam and Yoni massage

At this point you will effectively be giving a Yoni massage or a Lingam massage to your partner.  Yoni and lingam are ancient Sanskrit terms for the vulva and penis. Yoni also refers to the vagina but for the purpose of this kind of massage most of the focus will be on the external vulva.  Touching of the genitals, as well as penetration, are completely optional. It’s important that you and your partner don’t do anything that either of you are uncomfortable with, and that you keep consent at the front of your mind. That being said, if either partner is interested in penetration, vaginal or anal, do what feels right. Be sure for both of these experiences that you are using copious amounts of oil to avoid undo friction or snagging.  Prostate stimulation during a lingam massage is very common and will make for a very happy ending. Likewise a clitoral  orgasm  for a woman during an erotic massage can be the absolute peak of pleasure.  Communicate with your partner and slowly bring them closer to orgasm with your focus and dedicated touch. 

The grand finale

The last and most exciting part of your erotic massage will be the third portion: the ending. Depending on who is rubbing who and how each of you achieve orgasm, you may be able to come together, or you may need to focus on your partner finishing first. Edging is a concept that is often applied in erotic massage. Edging is simply getting yourself or another person to the brink of orgasm and then rescinding the stimulation that is pushing them to that edge. This repeated start and stop pattern can help men control premature ejaculation, and it can help women who struggle to orgasm to have more reliable and fulfilling climaxes. You know your bodies best, so use this time to create urgency and desire in your partner, driving them to an exceptional finish.

Coming back to Earth

The aftermath of an erotic massage is absolutely blissful. Spending time connecting, aligning your breathing, touching one another and increasing your arousal and need all adds up to a stunning finish. In the aftermath of a phenomenal erotic massage orgasm, do what works best for your partner and what will help prolong that blissful state. Some people may want to be touched more, or even over-stimulated on purpose. Others will want some quiet and some space to recover or ride out the aftershocks. However you manage this come-down, be sure that you help your partner to be comfortable. And don’t forget about the drinks and snacks you prepared beforehand! This is a great time to feed some fruit to your lover and debrief about the massage.

When in doubt trust an expert

If this process of preparing for and executing an erotic massage with your partner seems too intense or like too much work, you can always turn to the helping hands of professionals. At Secret Tantric we offer a couples’ massage where one of our masseuses will guide you and a partner through the erotic massage experience and help facilitate the communication and dynamics between the two of you. Our clients who have partaken in our couples massage have all been pleased with the results and most of them have reported  an overall increase in intimacy and romance in their relationship.  

What are you waiting for?

It’s one thing to read about the sensual massage experience, but it is something else entirely to have your own. There’s no reason to hesitate, simply pick up the phone and give us a ring and we will have you set up for the time of your life within minutes . Whether you seek deep tissue relaxation or a slippery sexy happy ending massage, Secret Tantric has what you need. And we know how to give it to you!  Call us today to set up your appointment. You will not regret it!

 

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