The art of lovemaking is something that has been studied and shared throughout time in many cultures across the globe. In fact, some of our most beloved modern day sex positions are rooted in the Indian Kamasutra and tantric practice. If you’re looking to expand your repertoire or simply change things up a bit, you’ve come to the right place. This article guides you through beginners tantric sex positions to try with your partner. 

For many, the term ‘tantra’ conjures up all kinds of exotic and sensual images. When you think of tantric sex do you think of something complicated that requires incredible flexibility? Does it seem like something reserved for the young and fit? Rest assured, tantric practice and tantric sex is for everyone. These four beginners tantric sex positions to try are laid out in simple terms so you can easily apply some basic tantric techniques to your sex life.

Tantra is about connection

The word tantra comes from Sanskrit and roughly translates to English as “web”. Tantra is an ancient philosophy centred around holistic wellness. It evolved on the Indian subcontinent, and was heavily influenced by Buddhism and Hinduism. Tantric practice has a significant spiritual element to it, however, you do not need to prescribe to any specific philosophy to enjoy the benefits of tantric love-making. Learn to connect through tantra: connect to yourself, to your partner, to the universe, to the divine. 

Position 1: Going Solo

One needn’t be a lonely number

If you want to increase and expand your sex life through tantric positions and techniques, both of you should practice tantric self exploration as well. Give each other the room to explore your bodies on your own, knowing that it will be invaluable to you as a couple. Masturbation is an often overlooked part of tantric practice. Many people don’t think of self-love as part of the tantric way of life and lovemaking. It’s important that we take time to ourselves with our own bodies to discover what pleasure means for us alone. Only then can we truly articulate that to our partners. Much tantric instruction is about the interaction between two lovers, but don’t let that hold you back from taking a tantric approach to self gratification. 

Breathe to become a better lover

You can apply a number of tantric techniques to your self-pleasure sessions. The simplest and easiest is to just slow down. By slowing down and touching yourself while you concentrate on your breathing you can achieve a very different experience. Slowing down and applying tantric breathing techniques is a way to ensure that your orgasm, if that is your goal, is more long-lasting and more intense. This in turn can lead to greater overall relaxation, a clearer head, better sleep, and many of the other benefits of orgasmic release.

  • Lay in a star formation: arms wide, feet just more than shoulder-width apart. 
  • Breathe deeply in through your nose 
  • Hold the breath for a count of eight
  • Slowly release the air completely through your mouth. 

Repeat this breathing cycle several times before you begin to touch yourself.

Start slowly

Once you begin, make a point of touching parts of your body that you don’t necessarily consider sexual or even very sensual. 

  • Take your time and let your hands move over your skin slowly
  • Focus on the sensation that your body feels, not what your hand feels
  • Spend time on sensitive and undervalued parts of your body: thighs, shoulders, neck, the insides of your wrists, etc.

Resist touching the parts of your body that are your known erogenous zones. If you begin by stimulating your body in a less sexual way you will lengthen the journey to satisfaction and release. The tension and build of desire is central to the tantric way. 

Tantric masturbation

Often masturbation is a hurried event fuelled by shame or necessity. Tantric masturbation is much about the journey, not just the destination. Masturbation is so personal it’s impossible to tell you how to do what works for you. Applying tantric principles like edging and breathing can improve your solo sex as well as your partnered sex because you will be:

  • More aware of your own needs
  • Increasingly comfortable with your desires
  • More articulate with your partner 
  • Better able to enjoy their pleasure without fixating on your own

Position 2: Queen Bee

Not all tantric positions are penetrative because in tantric practice sex goes well beyond penetration. This particular position is penetrative but it allows for extra pleasure and stimulation. 

The Queen Bee positions the partner with the lingham/phallus/penis on the bottom and the person being penetrated will on top. 

  • Imagine this as “girl on top” or “cowgirl”, except squatting.
  • The top person stands over the bottom person and squats down onto the bottom person’s phallus. 
  • The top person remains in the squatting position, controlling the depth and speed of penetration
  • Lots of eye contact and mutual touch is encouraged

Like all face to face positions, The Queen Bee can be incredibly intimate. It also allows for speaking easily to one another. Because breathing is so essential and prominent in tantric practice, talking is not an obvious activity, however many people find it very stimulating. You may find that by focussing on your breathing, your eye contact, and making a palpable connection with your partner the desire for additional stimuli like dirty talk or pornography begins to dry up. 

Position 3: Yab Yum

Traditionally this position is depicted between a man and a woman, however it can be very satisfying and sensual regardless of the gender or genitals involved. If you are a couple that has one person with a phallus and another person without, the person with the phallus should sit down first and the second person should sit in their lap. You can do this in bed, on the sofa, on the floor, in the tub, wherever you like, just make sure that you can both be comfortable. 

  • Yab Yum puts the lovers eyes in line with one another
  •  Prolonged eye contact and kissing is a highlight of this position
  • Intercourse is not required 
  • It’s easy to regulate your breathing together when you’re facing each other
  • Synchronizing your breath is an essential part of getting to the depth and intimacy that tantric sex helps you unlock

Discomfort isn’t sexy

If you find that your bodies aren’t comfortable in this position, make some simple modifications:

  • Support the top person by pushing cushions or pillows under their thighs and backside
  • Support the bottom with cushions as well so their hips don’t take as much weight. 
  • The person on top can also lean back onto their hands and support some of their body weight that way. 

Wrapping your legs around each other binds your hips together. This position allows for gentle rocking and or gentle bouncing by the top person. Remember this isn’t about getting the form exactly perfect, it’s about focussing your intention and doing your best to put your mind and body into a deeper state of experience. 

Position 4: Spoons

Spooning is a perfect storm of sexual and sensual energy points. Aligning your bodies lengthwise, interlocking like spoons, you are align your body’s chakras, creating a very powerful circuit of sexual energy. Tantric technique helps us bridge the gap between our modern minds and our primordial bodies When you slow down and focus, you will begin to see how implicitly powerful sex can be. Sex is fundamental human connection. 

Keep things slow at first and resist the urge to move directly into penetrative sex. Instead of jumping right into the deep penetration that is possible in the spooning position, use the opportunity for exploration of each other’s bodies. 

  • The person in front can tease the partner behind them by grinding and rubbing their bodies against their partner. 
  • The person in the back can use their hands to stimulate the person in front and touch their body, be that breasts, genitals, their stomach, face, etc.
  • This is an excellent position for synchronizing your breathing much like the yab-yum position.

You may not have the benefit of eye contact in the spoons position but the full body contact and the leisurely pace will more than make up for it. Plus, when you’re done, you’re already in the position to cuddle! 

Keep things fresh

Trying new positions is something you can proactively do as part of your relationship. Complacency is a relationship killer! When we are not making love with focus and intention we are robbing ourselves of the opportunity to have a meaningful and powerful connection with another human being. Not every act of sex or intimacy needs to be deep. But if you are looking for more depth and quality, adding tantric techniques can be very beneficial. 

What are you waiting for?

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