This easy, step-by-step beginners guide to sensual massage will give you all of the tips and tricks you need to give an amazing at home massage to your partner. Reconnect, increase intimacy, and set the stage for a night of passion with sensual massage. Read on to learn more!

As a tantric massage agency, it is not surprising that we are in favour of DIY sensual massage.  We understand that the professional experience is not for everyone, or perhaps you’re just not ready to take that step. Visiting one of our professional masseuses is a great way to pick up some sensual massage skills. But if a professional sensual massage is not on your to-do list, you can still give and receive sensual massages at home. A sensual massage can be a great way to re-establish intimacy and closeness with your partner. But if the idea of giving a full body-to-body massage to your partner seems overwhelming, we have all the info you need to confidently provide this sexy experience for your beloved.

Step 1: Establish enthusiastic consent

Massage is an intimate act, that’s probably why you’re interested in giving a sensual massage to your partner.  Because it’s so intimate, it’s important to establish that your partner wants a massage before you begin. Getting assurance and consent from your partner doesn’t need to be complicated or awkward. Send them a quick text and let them know that you’d like to do something nice for them, something to relieve the stresses of their week at work, whatever the situation may be. Don’t simply assume that your partner will be in the right frame of mind or  feeling up to a sensual massage. Always get the green light from them before you go to the effort of preparing for an evening of massage so that no one is upset, disappointed, or frustrated.

Step 2: Leave it open-ended

An at-home sensual massage is a great way to heat things up in the bedroom. Massage can be a wonderful foray into sex, making it a very popular form of foreplay. If you are the person offering the massage to your partner, consider leaving the option open and not assuming that the massage will become foreplay or lead to lovemaking. There is no reason that a good massage cannot lead to more, but resist the assumption or pressure that it will. Sometimes it can be hard for the recipient of a massage to fully relax and enjoy themselves if they are concerned with the state of their arousal or what comes next. Check-in with your partner as you perform the massage, keep communication flowing, and always be prepared to stop if they would like you to.

Step 3: Prepare the space

Do not underestimate the importance of creating a relaxing and sexy atmosphere for your massage. This step does not have to take much time or cost you much money, if any. Use things that you have around the house:  a lovely scented candle,  that bottle of massage oil that’s been kicking around in your bedside table (you could even use coconut or other vegetable based oils in a pinch), and some dark coloured towels that you don’t feel too precious about. A sensual massage is not just about muscles, it’s about a mood. Adding quiet music or other neutral background sounds will also help your partner become more relaxed and enjoy the massage even more. Set up a space for the massage to take place. This could be on the sofa or bed, it could also be on the floor provided there is comfortable padding below your partner. All massage oils have the potential to stain, so be sure that you protect surfaces and fabrics with towels that you don’t mind staining. We recommend dark coloured towels as any marks left behind will be less obvious.

Step 4: Get clean before you get dirty

At Secret Tantric all of our massage sessions begin with a requisite shower for our clients. A pre-massage shower achieves a couple of things:  

  • It washes away the grime of the day and softens and opens the skin for a more pleasantly tactile massage. 
  • It is an opportunity to get into the mood. 

Having a shower with your partner before you begin your DIY sensual massage will ignite excitement in both of you. Seeing the other with soap and water trickling down their body sets the stage for a wonderful and connected massage experience. Take your time, enjoy the shower together, and then get down to the business of your sensual massage.

Step 5: Start in the right place

If you are excited and eager about giving this massage, it may be tempting to just jump in anywhere and begin. If you want to build sexual tension and excitement in your partner throughout the massage, ( and why wouldn’t you?), we recommend a very simple yet effective order of events. Ask your partner to lay down in the massage space you’ve created for them.  Have them lay on their front  in a comfortable position. This will give you access to their feet,  legs,  buttocks, and back for the first half of the massage. This will give you time to perfect your technique, as well as providing a slow and measured pace for the massage. Even if you are incredibly excited, make sure that you don’t rush! 

Step 6: Don’t worry about technique but don’t ignore it either

You don’t need to be well-versed in human anatomy to give a good sensual massage to your partner. However, there are two areas that are worth considering: your hands and your breathing.  Encouraging your partner to breathe slowly and deeply with you will have an instant calming effect and help deepen the relaxation of the massage. It will also help you to move more slowly and more deliberately and not rush due to excitement. Once your partner is laid down, have them do some deep breaths with you, inhaling for a count of 8, exhaling for a count of 8, and repeating. Do the breathing slowly and consciously, four or five times. This will be enough to slow down the mood and put you both in a calm and focused state.  As for your touch,  focus on slow broad strokes using the palm and heels of your hand. 

Step 7:  Bottoms Up

Begin the massage with the soles of your partner’s feet. Rub their feet, especially the balls of their feet and their heels, working your way up and around their ankles. From there take the massage up their calves and up the backs of their thighs. Move along their hips into the small of their back. You may notice that nothing has been mentioned about their bottom. The bum, buttocks, bottom, whatever you like to call it, is a major erogenous zone for both men and women. Because it is such a hot spot, you don’t want to rush into touching it too soon. Instead let your seductive touch wander around their buttocks, perhaps kneading a little at the cheeks before moving on to their back.  Slide your hands up their back and shoulders, working your way down their arms to their palms and fingertips.

Step 8: Turn them over 

Once you have completed the backside of their body, have your partner roll over so they are facing upwards laying on their back. Begin at their feet again, gently massage the tops of their feet, rotating the joints of their ankles, moving up their legs to their abdomen. Many people are very ticklish around their midsection so take care not to destroy the mood by plunging them into a fit of giggles. Take your time , communicate with them as you touch them, and work your way up to their shoulders and arms. By now your partner will no doubt be squirming and wanting more of your touch. By teasing and extending the massage away from the genitals and other erogenous zones you are prolonging and intensifying their pleasure. When they are sufficiently relaxed and adequately aroused, then you can turn your focus towards their more intimate parts.

Step 9: Use more than just your hands

A sensual massage can be done with just two hands. But if you would like to increase the intimacy and sexiness of your DIY at home sensual massage, make it a body-to-body massage.  Use your forearms, your body weight, your legs, or even your buttocks to  provide the massage and disperse the massage oil. As always, this doesn’t need to lead to intercourse, but it certainly can if that’s what you would both like.  We don’t recommend using massage tools or objects  because your hands and body are the best tools to use. The warmth and closeness of body-to-body massage is incredibly intimate and incredibly sexy. It is an absolute client favourite here at Secret Tantric, and will no doubt be a hit at home with your partner.

Step 10:  Stop? Switch? Or sex?

When you have completed giving your partner the best sensual massage of their life,  you are then faced with what happens next. You could switch roles and have them repeat the massage on you. You could end the session all together, order a pizza, and call it a night. Or you could escalate the massage to sex and love making. By the time you have finished the massage, no doubt you will both be in the mood and wanting more, so by all means do what feels right. Just remember to have a shower before taking your oily bodies into your bed or on to other furniture. And by all means, be careful walking where there may be oil spills!  Spending the rest of the night at the emergency room is decidedly unsexy and will 100% kill the vibe.

The little things add up

Relationships are all about give and take, and sensual massage can be a wonderful way to give. Touch is a human need and a very powerful expression, especially when what you are expressing is love, affection, and attraction. A well-considered and generous body-to-body massage is a wonderful gift to give your partner, particularly if you know they are feeling run down, overworked, or underappreciated. The best massages are given without expectation of reciprocation. Put all your focus into your partner and enjoy how much they enjoy your touch. If by the end of it they are ready for bed,  that’s okay too.  When it comes to intimate relationships, small things tend to add up. Thoughtful gestures and clear statements of affection go a long way in keeping the spark alive, and keeping both partners invested in their mutual intimacy. 

When in doubt, go see the pros 

Take your sensual massage skills to the next level. Book a session with one of our masseuses and receive a massage from a pro. Our masseuses are highly trained and naturally talented, as well as being stunningly beautiful and lovely to be around. Additionally we offer couples massage  which allows you and your partner to enjoy a massage with one of our tantric goddesses.  A couples massage can be an incredibly affirming activity for your relationship, and you will no doubt learn a few things you can take home with you to try in the bedroom.  If you are more of a classroom learner, we also offer seminars and workshops on erotic, sensual, and tantric massage skills. These community workshops are taught by some of the most well renowned and well respected tantric healers in the UK. Give us a call today and set up a massage experience that’s right for you and your partner.

What are you waiting for?

It’s one thing to read about the lingam massage experience but it is something else entirely to have your own. There’s no reason to hesitate, simply pick up the phone and give us a ring and we will have you set up for the time of your life within minutes . Whether you seek deep tissue relaxation or a slippery sexy happy ending massage, Secret Tantric has what you need. And we know how to give it to you!  Call us today to set up your appointment. You will not regret it!

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