Looking to change things up a bit in the bedroom? Feeling as though things are lacking when you ‘self serve’? Our Self-guided DIY Beginner’s Guide to Lingam Massage is based on ancient tantric practice and will teach you to prolong and intensify the male orgasm, alone or with a partner. 

As practitioners of the ancient tantric arts we believe wholeheartedly that to re-engage with your partner, you need to re-engage with their energy. Real intimacy, the kind of closeness that allows you both to let go and experience pleasure fully, is where that connection happens. Many tantric techniques focus on mutual experience and simultaneous climax. Likewise, there are techniques designed specifically for men, and for women. The techniques in this guide focus on the lingam and the state of relaxation that is ideal for male sexual release. The techniques are described for self-touch but can easily be adapted for couples. And don’t forget, seeing a professional for a lingam massage is never a bad idea. Our gorgeous masseuses are ready and waiting for you to book your session today! 

What does lingam mean?

Lingam is the Sanskrit equivalent term for penis. In Sanskrit, and ancient tantric texts, lingam refers to more than just the male member. It refers to maleness as an energy, as a whole concept, as a fundamental energy of the universe. Because Tantra is a spiritual practice based in Buddhism and Hinduism, it does tend to have some cosmological elements. Luckily,  

tantric techniques can be used without any specific spiritual affiliation.  Think of tantric practices as the pearls of wisdom that you wish you’d always known.

What is lingam massage?

In simplest terms a lingam massage is the manual stimulation of the lingam. But rest assured, lingam massage is far more sophisticated than a quick handjob.  Lingam massage incorporates physical technique as well as mental focus to build stamina and prolong pleasure. 

Why you should choose lingam massage

Because lingam massage is about the extension of pleasure through focus and stamina building, every time you do it, you are improving your sexual skill set.

When men practice lingam massage regularly, there are several improvements in sexual performance and stamina that can occur:

  • Erections happen more easily and last longer
  • The quality of erections is often improved
  • Ejaculation after lingam massage is often more voluminous then after other forms of stimulation
  • Premature ejaculation becomes a thing of the past
  • Orgasms last longer and are more exciting
  • The mindfulness required also makes you a better lover

Everyone is different, so there are no guarantees, but there are only good things to be gamed from better focus, better endurance, and a better sexual experience all around. 

Is lingam massage safe for everyone?

Absolutely. Lingam massage has no downsides. It is simply a way to reframe how you look at manual stimulation and the motivations behind your pleasure. With a bit of focus and attention, any man, young or old, can reap the benefits of slowing down and enjoying more pleasure.

Step 1:  prepare for your lingam massage 

Lingam massage is best experienced when you are in a good frame of mind. This is because it not only takes a bit more effort, it’s also about helping your body learn new ways to feel good. If you are trying to teach yourself how to experience pleasure, you are at a disadvantage if you start in a sour state of mind. Ideally before a lingam massage you are feeling calm and clear-headed. If you’re not, take a few moments to have a few deep breaths and bring your focus back to the situation at hand (pun very much intended). 

Step 2:  warm up

Lingam massage begins with sensual touch. Lay down on your back or lean back into a pile of pillows in a comfortable position. Take the time to touch your chest, abdomen, thighs and groin, avoiding at first, the lingam. Before you touch it, oil up. Here at Secret Tantric we use cold-pressed virgin grapeseed oil for all of our massages. You can use any massage oil that you have on hand including any vegetable based oil. We like grapeseed because it’s good for the skin, it’s odourless and tasteless, and it’s non-comedogenic so it doesn’t give you spots.  If you want to take your DIY lingam massage to the next level, warm up your oil by floating its container in a sink full of warm water for a few minutes. 

Step 3:  begin

A good lingam massage is all about pacing. If you start off too rambunctiously, you’ll be too close to orgasm too soon. If you faff around and don’t give the lingam what it needs, you’ll  find the whole thing rather disappointing. By taking the slow and steady approach, you can reap the benefits of a slow build.  

Begin with simple upward strokes. Grasp the base of the lingam gently but firmly.  Slide your hand up  the shaft, pulling it straight up, 90 degrees from the body. Resist the urge to make a pumping motion. Pull up sliding your hand fully along the length, let go, then grasp again at the base and repeat slowly for a few minutes. 

Step 4: stop, start, repeat

Once the lingam has been awoken, continue to slowly repeat the upward strokes until you begin to get breathless with anticipation. Slow to a stop and move the focus of touch from the shaft to the pelvic area just above the penis.  Gently press and rub there while deep breathing slowly to bring your energy back down again.  Once the urgency has passed, begin with another upwards stroke. This time, add in downward strokes. This will be particularly thrilling for the non circumcised among us, as the downward pull will partially or completely expose the glans of the penis. Take care not to overstimulate the penis head, and again use alternating strokes again until that state of urgent breathlessness.

Step 5:  freestyle

One thing that tantric practice is not is overly prescriptive. How you make up the bulk of a lingam massage will depend on how you, and or your partner, feel and how quickly the state of arousal takes over. The objective of lingam massage is to pace oneself, and not greedily race to the finish line. By taking time to stop, start and repeat, both the mind and the lingam can be retrained for more optimal sexual performance. Spend the bulk of the lingam massage stimulating, but not over stimulating, the lingam in its entirety. 

  • Pay attention to the very root and base of it
  • Spend time barely touching the underside
  • Use all four fingers and your thumb to pet and pluck at the head
  • Press the head into your palm and ‘polish’ it
  • Drag your fingers from under the testes, up the shaft and over the head

Let go of the idea that manual stimulation is about a pumping motion or a jerking motion. Discover a whole world of sensations and pleasures by slowly exploring new ways of  touching.

Step 6:  focus on the finish

When you have come to the point in your DIY lingam massage where desperation has taken hold, it’s time to think about how to end the session. At this point there’s a choice to be made: you could slow down and gently come back from that precipice. Or, you could gear up for a much-anticipated and explosive climax. Choose wisely. It may feel  like there is no choice to be made and barging towards the finish line is the only viable option. 

But consider this:  every time that you get to that edge,  stop and look over it,  you are strengthening your resolve to last longer and stay harder next time. Sometimes walking away from a sure thing like an orgasm can be good for long-term growth. Other times you just need the high of that orgasm. There are no wrong answers, you are in control. 

Remember, DIY is never the same as a pro

Practicing more mindful masturbation at home with our DIY beginner’s guide to lingam massage can have great results and change your sexual experience for the better.  A great way to learn what works for you is to book a session with one of our tantric masseuses. Our experts are just a phone call away and every session with them will leave you with something new and interesting to try yourself at home. We also offer classes and seminars for singles and couples who want to learn how to put more passion, focus, and intimacy into the sex they’re having.

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