Orgasms. We all want them, but not everyone crosses that finish line. Some have them too easily, others used to have them and have lost the magic touch. Wherever you land on the O Spectrum, you probably want more of them. How many of these 20 ways to trigger an orgasm work for you?
No matter your sex or gender, no matter what’s in your pants, there’s a way for you to orgasm. You may not have found it yet, but it exists. Orgasms are Mother Nature’s sweet incentive to ensure we proliferate our species: a lovely little treat that reminds us that sex is worth the hassle of babies, if only for a fleeting moment. But the joke’s on her because we can have them without all the fuss of, you know, offspring. If there’s one thing our species knows, it’s orgasms. We love them, we crave them, we worship them; we just can’t get enough of them. So why are so many of us only using one or two methods to get us over the finish line?
Habit, pattern or rut?
You may not think you’re in an orgasm rut, but when was the last time you changed it up or tried something new? It can be so easy to just do what works without any further exploration. In the moment before you orgasm, you’re likely so focused and desperate for the impending release that you’re not thinking about how you got there or what to do next. More likely you just don’t want to derail where you are. But is that enough? Is that the orgasm experience you want to have or the one you feel you have to have?
The following are 20 ways to trigger an orgasm that will inspire you to get reacquainted with your orgasm and the orgasms of your partner(s).
Start by setting the stage
Believe it or not, the environment you’re in and how you feel about it, not to mention the dynamics between you and another person, can influence orgasm. Being comfortable, both emotionally and physically is key to orgasming easily and when and how you want to. The fallacy that some bodies just need friction and some need romance is outmoded and inaccurate. No matter your sex, the more comfortable you are and the more amenable the situation, the easier you’ll come. Seriously, it’s science.
It may seem redundant since you’re already nearing orgasm, but tossing in a breathless, “Can I make you cum.” and watching them get closer to the precipice is super sexy. So why not ask? Consent is hot, and so is orgasming. One gets you closer to the other, but both are a good thing to do.
Know the terrain
Understanding the mechanics and some of the nuances of your body or the body of your partner will only ever make orgasming easier. Instead of fumbling blindly, do some homework. Learn a bit about the functions and structures of human sexual organs and the process of orgasm. Ask your partner questions because all bodies are unique and no one’s works exactly like the textbooks say it will.
Create a conducive environment
It may seem dramatic to consider the space you’re in when you’re just trying to get your rocks off, but it can make a difference. Are you (both) comfortable? Do you know how loud you can be? Is there a time constraint? Is there a chance you’ll be interrupted? Mitigating these sorts of questions by creating or choosing an ideal environment can contribute to the necessary relaxation and calm needed for orgasm. If the space you’re in is stressing you out, it just may not happen.
Appeal to all five senses
Not every single orgasmic experience has to be pre-planned to the finest detail, not by a long shot. But using your five senses (sight, hearing, taste, touch, smell) to promote focus, comfort, and relaxation, will contribute to triggering orgasm.
Stay the course
Not all orgasms come easy. Sometimes it takes a few tries, a little break to re-calibrate, or a change in scenery. Whatever the variables are for you and your orgasm, learning how it works and what works for you is a worthwhile investment. Orgasms are one of life’s greatest little pleasures and they can greatly contribute to your overall quality of life.
The V-Bits (vagina and vulva)
The V&V are very sensitive, the clitoris alone having over 8,000 nerve endings (compared to the 5,000 at the head of a penis), so proceed with caution. The vagina and vulva are prone to both under stimulation and over stimulation, so a fine line must be tread. Don’t let that intimidate you. Whether it’s your own or someone else’s, with some time, patience and care, you can release and explore the phenomenal pleasure opportunities that the vagina and vulva possess.
The vagina and vulva must be wooed. Touching them too fast or too hard can derail an orgasm, so keep all movement and touch confident and firm without being rushed or hasty. Speed and location of touch, both inside and out, is very personal so you may need to try a few approaches before one works.
Knock before entering
One of the most sensitive parts of the vagina is right at the entrance. The labial flesh around the opening to the vaginal canal is incredibly sensitive and receptive to touch, as is the first couple of inches inside. Spend some time on the external vulva before pushing into the vagina. Some vaginas can trigger orgasm from the onset of penetration alone. Even if that’s not possible for you/your partner, it still feels amazing.
Get the angle right
The vaginal canal, believe it or not, is not a flat and level tunnel as you may have been led to believe. The vagina is angled towards the base of the spine, and while somewhat flexible, penetration that is awkward or askew is uncomfortable. Furthermore, the G Spot is located along that angle and is a powerful orgasm producer. To find it, touch about 2-3 inches into the vagina, on the anterior wall (the stomach side/ceiling they’re laying on their back). It will feel rougher and more dense than the flesh around it. Gentle prodding, steady, gentle thumping, and quick stroking are all common motions that set off the G Spot for an intense orgasm.
The jewel in the crown
The clit takes pride of place at the top of the slit, presiding over the vulva with the gravitas of a great monarch. Powerful and misunderstood, she is often the gatekeeper to orgasmic pleasure and she takes no prisoners. But to know her is to love her, treat her right and she will make life easier and better for you. Treat her poorly or disrespect her and she will throw a spanner in the works like you’ve never seen before. She is forever on a hair-trigger, so keep your wits about you. Long live the queen!
Above all, and almost universally, the vulva and vagina love consistency. Stick with what works when you find it and note changes in urgency, breathing, muscle tension, or anything else that tells you that The Big O is near. Don’t deviate without instructions. “Faster” only means faster. Not harder, not up and down instead of a circle, not in a different rhythm. Just faster.
The P-Bits (Penis and Prostate)
When it comes to pleasuring the penis and prostate, it’s often less delicate an operation than with the vulva and vagina. But, no two bodies are identical, so whatever is normal and good for you is awesome.
Slow is smooth and smooth is fast
Navigating towards an orgasm set off by penile stimulation is often, but not always, fairly straight forward. Speed/Pace can be a major factor, but likewise, so is the fluidity of the movement. Inconsistent or superfluous movements can break the spell of arousal. Keep the motion smooth and the grip snug, vary the speed as needed, and you’ll be off to the races.
The right tools for the job
Prostate orgasm is a whole world of pleasure beyond the penile orgasm. The tricky thing is that there’s only one way to get to it in order to adequately stimulate it. Located a few inches inside the rectum, the prostate is similar in function to the G Spot and when properly coaxed, can produce intense orgasms and exceptional amounts of ejaculate. Using a finger or other body-safe insertable will do the trick but a toy designed with all the right angles in mind will do it better.
Really milk it
Directly stimulating the prostate causes an eruption of ejaculate that often sets off a chain reaction of orgasms. It is a myth that multiple orgasms are impossible for the males of the species. In fact, it’s quite common but you have to ‘take the scenic route’ to get there, via the rectum. The great expulsion of semen is called “milking” as it drains the testes, causing a pleasant and satisfying emptiness. If an orgasm is pending, a nudge to the prostate will tip them over the edge.
Stroke, stroke, stroke!
Sometimes the clearest path to the penile orgasm is well controlled friction. The relationship between the surface of the penis’ skin and the surface it’s rubbing against (often a toy, hand, or orifice) is critical. Too slick and you may slide right past the opportunity for orgasm. Not slick enough and you run the risk of irritation, snagged skin, and painful abrasions. However you stroke it, keep it smooth and steady and don’t cause any injury.
Tickle those balls
Testicles are an often ignored member of the male reproductive system. They are serious heavy lifters when it comes to function: they produce and store all the sperm. Unfortunately, as important as they are, their form leaves much to be desired. They may be significant but they are also very sensitive and they don’t have the mass appeal of the penis. Give the balls some love when an orgasm is on the horizon and see what happens. It can be an unexpected, but often welcome, addition to the repertoire. For some it slows things down, for others it tips the scales and sends them skyrocketing.
Even if simultaneous climax is not the ultimate goal, it’s still nice to both get off when you’re cumming with a lover. How you approach orgasm and what you need may not be the same as them, regardless of how matching, contrasting or complimentary your parts are. Patience, awareness and generosity are good starting points when using any of these 20 ways to trigger an orgasm.
A fun bonus to partnered orgasms is talking dirty. What you say and when you say it is up to you but getting erotic between your ears can be the key to unlocking perfect pleasure. Whisper sweet nothings and stimulate the human body’s most powerful sex organ: the brain.
Take turns watching
Do you like to watch? Most people do. Seeing your partner touch themselves, undress for you, dance for you, or pose for you, can be just what is needed to launch your orgasm into the stratosphere. Likewise, erotic still photos and films can be great ways to ease into a mind-blowing orgasm
Make it mutual
Mutual masturbation is a great way to come simultaneously or just together. Take turns watching, help each other out, and just relax and enjoy your bodies. Really sharing in the experience is a great way to connect and increase the emotional quotient that some people need in order to orgasm.
Find just the right spot
How we like to touch ourselves and how we like others to touch us are rarely exactly the same. Take some time for mutual exploration and find a way to make your partner climax that they cannot do for themselves. Communicate and revel in how different their touch is, from yours.
Explore new sensations
Nipple clamps, cock rings, a well-placed ice cube, these and so many other toys, devices and things around the house, can be used to trigger an orgasm. Play with temperature and texture, intensity and speed, see where the boundaries lie for both of you. You may be surprised by how much trying something new ‘does it’ for you.
Nothing ventured, nothing gained
Trying something new in the bedroom, alone or with someone else, doesn’t have to be a huge change or a dizzying departure from your norm. In some cases changes are improvements, and others don’t work out. Staying flexible and not getting too stuck in your ways is what keeps intimacy, sex, and orgasms feeling fun and fresh. If you have enjoyed reading about these 20 ways to trigger an orgasm, leave a comment below and let us know if you have anything to add!
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